Depending on the nature of the relationship and the breakup, sometimes people who’ve split up continue to be friends. That’s all well and fine, as long as all parties involved are okay with the arrangement.
But this ex-girlfriend actually took the time to write up a detailed list of her ex-boyfriend’s likes and dislikes for him to give to his next girlfriend, and I…? Huh.
The list, which reads like the care and feeding instructions you’d give to someone watching your dog for a week, was written in the notes app and tweeted by Twitter user Jacob (@jacobamirabrown). Along with the three-page list, he wrote, “my ex girlfriend wrote this for me and it’s literally the best thing i ever gotten in my life.”
Here’s the list in its entirety:
The whole thing is a little strange—well, kind of a lot strange. Who does this? This is like pinning an address to a child to make sure they don’t forget where they live, only, this guy’s not a child.
Won’t his next girlfriend learn this stuff naturally, as the relationship progresses? Isn’t that how relationships typically work? Why would his next girlfriend need to know all this stuff right from the start? And why, especially, would she need to be told not to get with his friends?
ALSO, why did she put the date they started dating? Why would a new lady need to know that?
Although, it is a little helpful to get information like “he’s going to want to watch beer and TV all night sometimes and you’ll just have to deal with that” and “you’ll have to massage him until your hands cramp,” and “he will wear try to wear a robe when he goes out with you.” That’s good stuff to know up front, so that if the next girl isn’t down for basically giving in to all his demands, she can peace out early.
People on Twitter, were, for the most part, in agreement that the list was odd.
I hope the consensus is this that if this is real this shit is really, really weird https://t.co/AAnJ223lOS
— larry david (@alxblm) May 17, 2019
she gave the next girl the blueprint I said wow 😭 weird flex but hey 🤷🏽♀️ https://t.co/GSVtrpTYyB
— MIESH💋 (@_xokaami) May 17, 2019
This is so deeply embarrassing for all parties https://t.co/OAopCK45yh
— Chelsea Fagan (@Chelsea_Fagan) May 17, 2019
imagine trying to show this to ur next partner lol https://t.co/stAIFiq71w
— neko kaname 💘 (@NEK0MlMl) May 17, 2019
Some couldn’t imagine that level of involvement from an ex in their future relationships.
“For his next girlfriend” bitch I will beat u up https://t.co/VNORK6OChU
— Jennifer Acevedo (@jvnnifers) May 17, 2019
And some found it uncomfortable that an ex would even do this.
If my ex wrote this I would’ve told him to mind his fucking business https://t.co/IeY3cdXNxW
— 🕊ABORTED ANGEL ☆ (@PRIMAPR1MROSE) May 17, 2019
if i ever do clown behavior like this beat my ass https://t.co/pgw7xsQM9u
— denia 🦋 (@daneeeuh) May 17, 2019
On the upside, getting this list from a guy would be a good sign you should probably dump him quick, so in that sense, it’s definitely time-saving.
if a man ever sent me some shit like this from his ex i’d leave him so fast https://t.co/vV3xyC6k3s
— ً (@littlewolfreads) May 17, 2019
Loool if someone i was talking to sends me a list that his ex made, ill lock it off so quick because wtf is this??? https://t.co/bdGAHymOK8
— Spice Connoisseur (@rasdazzle_) May 17, 2019
A few people pointed out that this is LOT of detail. Like, a lot a lot. It makes Jacob seem like he needs to be taken care of. People should not need user manuals.
are these instructions on how to take care of a baby or https://t.co/VMOfSA1wkA
— Mik (@mmikkymik) May 17, 2019
From one babysitter to another 🤷🏽♀️ he also likes huggies instead of pampers 🙄
— Ms. Williams 🇵🇭 (@IngeniousTweets) May 17, 2019
You can tell this had to be a young couple BUT if not 😳😳 EXACTLY seem like she was tryna be his mama not his girl
— ⚡️6lack Ranger⚡️ (@ChivalrousJohn) May 17, 2019
Precisely. I know we’re made to nurture. But did homie even want to be babied like this? And LET my man pass this to me talking about “here yo study guide” I’m leaving. This childish.
— Ms. Williams 🇵🇭 (@IngeniousTweets) May 17, 2019
Also, it definitely kind of seems like Jacob’s ex-lady might still be into him.
If someone gave me this I’d just give them their boyfriend back loool wtf is this https://t.co/quRU3BLKM8
— Naz (@nazminahmed_) May 17, 2019
My own mother doesn’t even know this much about me, she still loves you bro
— sam (@sxmingrxm) May 17, 2019
And a few people suggested he get back with her, not wait for this mystery future girlfriend. Especially if the list meant that much to him.
boy if you don’t take her back
— 𝒃𝒆𝒕𝒉⚢ | 165 (@witchuntdelano) May 17, 2019
holy shit jus take her back like fr
— 𝓶𝓸𝓻𝓪🍓 (@cherrybitsh1) May 17, 2019
Someone else mentioned that the list didn’t really do the guy any favors (like make him seem interesting in any way).
How yall dating men with the personality of a loaf of bread https://t.co/cJdDWPz1GL
— zee (@snackistani) May 17, 2019
Everything about this is weird af. Either this girl was taught to mother and cater to men and is a joke of a person, or it was written by this guy pretending any girl would be into a dull ass child like this. A beer and TV wow he sounds driven
— Umber Saiyan (@USaiyan) May 17, 2019
Really, the whole thing is a big ol’ mess of no.
where do I even start….. the ex’s clown costumery, the weird parental vibes, the bf ignoring the obvious ongoing attachment that’s being expressed here, the fact that if I was given a lovey ass note from a boo written by an ex he would have to catch these figurative hands… https://t.co/nVgL3QYDQK
— ruba! ruby! rubé! (@rubafenty) May 17, 2019
this is weird as hell but go off
— 𝒩𝒶𝓃𝓃𝓎 (@nannysmash) May 17, 2019
Sumn about this don’t sit right with me
— vanessa (@nessajuliaa) May 17, 2019
Same I literally was thinking that the whole time
— 3•9♓️ (@_obeymylaw) May 17, 2019
And some people theorized Jacob wrote the damn thing himself.
LOL he clearly wrote this himself https://t.co/hCucM3AHPM
— Lang 🌶 (@langarangg) May 17, 2019
He wrote himself lol
— ᴛessa (@___matet) May 17, 2019
BUT! Some people really found this super sweet, which just goes to show you, it really does take all types.
She knows that much about you because she paid attention because she loved you enough to want to know everything about you. I wish at least ONE of the guys I’ve ever dated would’ve taken the time to know even half of this about me. This kinda stuff doesn’t happen often enough.
— 💋AdamNewman’sWife🧡💚 (@tvbingequeen) May 17, 2019