‘Listen, Brah’: Women Are Tweeting Their Experiences With Men Bulldozing Them In Conversations

You know that thing that happens when you’re talking to a guy and he brings up something you’re actually interested in, but when you go to contribute to the conversation he just steamrolls right over you? The story he’s telling is, in his mind, about him and he doesn’t want you to step in and explain that, god forbid, you actually know more about the subject than he does.

Being bulldozed by men, or “mandozed” if you will, is something that a lot of women are familiar with. I’m not saying it happens just to women, or that men are always the perpetrators of this general discourtesy, or that all men do it. I’m just saying that it happens a lot with people who are too full of themselves and those people often happen to be men.

It’s a lot like the thing written about by Rebecca Solnit in 2008, in an essay called “Men Explain Things To Me. The phenomenon would come to be called “mansplaining,” although Solnit didn’t actually use that word in her piece.

Recently, writer and cartoonist Maggie Mull tweeted about how she’d met a guy at a bar who told her that he loved New Yorker cartoons. When Maggie responded that she actually wrote them, it became clear that he didn’t so much want to learn anything about them, he just wanted to brag about liking them.

He ended up just saying, “Yeah, anyway, they’re great.” Wow, guy. Conversation much?

There were jokes about what a catch he was.

And other women, especially writers, began to chime in, recounting the times that men had brushed past their accomplishments, sometimes seeming to literally not hear them.

One woman included a quote that perfectly encapsulated the type of person who talks to people this way.

And someone sent a cartoon that showed a somewhat similar situation that women often find themselves in.

A few people brought up the fact that this story would make a great New Yorker cartoon. Which is perfect, because she, you know, writes them.

Men, don’t be like this. Be better. Be, as Melania says, best. Don’t be so worried about always knowing it all. Let women talk, and actually listen to them. Ask questions! Have a conversation! It’s not that hard.

h/t: Twitter: @infinitesimull