Have you ever had a sexual experience that you would rate as an absolute zero? Whether your partner was spaced out or not that into you, or something embarrassing happened, sex has the potential to be a real bummer. On Reddit, people are sharing their stories of sexual encounters that definitely rated 0/10 — and some are funny while others are just cringeworthy. From crappy first times to literal crap making a surprise appearance, these stories will have you revisiting your zero encounters—and hopefully your tens, too.
1. Leg Cramp
“I got a leg cramp just as I orgasmed and was on the floor writhing on pain. 0/10 never wish that on anyone.” — thehod81
2. No Warm Up
“I had an ex who tried to stick his fingers straight in, the first time he put his hand down my panties. I mean right up to the knuckles, without any prior foreplay to warm me up first. After he saw the discomfort on my face, I told him I wasn’t ready and he needed to take it slow and he said ok before massaging my left breast for a few seconds before immediately trying to stick his fingers inside me again.” — Retrosonic82
3. “I’m Still Thinking About My Ex”
“Me losing my virginity. There was so much build up. 19 years old, first year university. When we first met, we each were dating, but I broke up with my boyfriend, eventually he broke up with his girlfriend. He eventually decides to leave school for health reasons. The night before he left we stayed up all night just hanging out until the sun came up. He finally makes a move, we make out, get naked, he finally starts putting it in…Goes for about 2 seconds. STOPS, and says, ‘I can’t do this, I’m still thinking about (ex).’ And it was over.” — truecrimenancydrew
4. A Sign From God
“During college, summer semester, I had been dating my gf for about a year and I was staying over the night in her dorm room, both about to pop our cherry for the first time. We were both naked under the sheets and making out, I am seconds away about to seal the deal… but then I get a call. It is from my sister telling me our grandma just passed away and that she was 10min away to pick me up from my dorm, and that we fly out of town for a week to attend the funeral. Gf says it’s a sign from God and ends it right there…. 0/10.” — bensthrowaway2
5. Not A Lesbian
“Met a girl in a bar, she was really pretty, tall, blonde, thin, and dressed like an indie chick. she buys me a couple of drinks at the bar but by then, I’m piss drunk. the music is blaring so loudly, that I can’t hear a single word she says but she’s giggling and having a good time. We eventually go out to the side of the bar for a smoke and pretty soon we start making out. Bar’s closing, people are walking out, and eventually we make it to my buddy’s car to go home. We get inside and head downstairs to the basement which was my living quarters at the time. Pretty soon we’re making out on the bed some more. As we’re making out she reaches for my zipper and puts her hand down my jeans and stops midway. As soon as she reached for my peen, she pulls it out, looks down and says, ‘Are you fucking kidding me!?’ while borderline strangling it. Turns out, she was actually a lesbian. Since I had long hair and no facial hair at the time, she thought I was also a lesbian. so of course it must have caught her off guard or something. She politely tells me that she is not interested in men and I reluctantly but, respectively tuck my pride back in. We go back to join the party upstairs for more drinks until she gets a friend to pick her up. And just like that, she was gone into the black of night and my balls, a deeper shade of blue.” — sofakenwut
6. Went For Cigarettes, Never Returned
“He came after literally 5 seconds, apologized profusely and told me he would get his cigarettes out of his car. Never returned.” — MarieAntoifatte
7. Farts
“I farted while inside of my ex…then yelled, ‘I’m ok’ and she looked at me and said ‘you’re ok?!’ then we started laughing and I lost my erection and we went to bed. Thought I would share a funny one, some of these are awful.” — WittyFox451
8. “The Experienced Cougar”
“She said she wanted to give me a blowjob. Got on her knees and pulled down my pants and then just screamed. She had never seen a penis before and didn’t know that they were supposed to be that big (not bragging, she just thought it was supposed to be the size of a finger). She thought something was wrong with me. When I told her nothing was wrong she got extremely embarrassed and started crying. It was an incredibly awkward experience. What made it stranger was that she was a few years older than me, and had made jokes about how she was ‘the experienced cougar’ and I was the ‘young stud.’ After she calmed down she left and I didn’t hear from her for a few weeks.” — The-Rimjob-Guy
9. Poop
“She shat on my chest when she tried to do the 69 position. It was solid and big and very hot, not sexy hot but the sh*t felt like it just came out of the oven hot. She was apologetic and helped clean me up.” — MUSTARDUNAVAILABLE
10. No Nut Challenge
“My friends and I were doing a no nut challenge. It was on day 17 and met a girl on tinder. I went over her house and one thing led to another and as I was about to put it in I exploded the load of my life into the yoga pants she was laying on. I then left and never saw her again.” — GreyandWhiteandBlack
11. Kicking Down The Door
“I was visiting my wife when we were just bf/gf. Since she lived with her parents, it was always very tricky to get some privacy. Anyway, one night we were involved in a very heavy make out session, and things were getting hot fast. She goes to get on top of me, and literally the moment I’m inside of her, her (locked) bedroom door gets kicked open. One of her sisters barges in, and acts like it’s no big deal what is going on. We eventually get her to leave, but yea, mood killed. We started booking hotel rooms after that.” — StillTalksToCeilings
12. Porn No No
“I once asked an ex to stop using porn while we were having sex. He responded by telling me, in detail, all the ways that the women in the porn were hotter than me. While I dumped him immediately, (he didn’t understand why I was ‘overreacting’) it fucked me up for years. 0/10. Do not recommend.” — fruit_cats
13. A Joke
“Was younger and went through a break up. Guys I worked with were extremely supportive and got me talking with a girl at work who was attractive and the guys knew allot about in the bedroom. Couple weeks past and a few parties when she came on to me and we ended up sleeping with each other, was pretty drunk so at the time didn’t live up to the hype. Tried again a week later this time just us 2 and sober but still nothing too grand, didn’t want me to warm her up before hand etc. Afterwards she told me she only hooked up with me as a joke with her sister.” — Invisiblethespian
14. Lost Tampon
“At 16, I lost my virginity to this girl I was dating and right as I went in, she said, ‘I love taking guys’ v-cards.’ It hurt to hear but I pushed through and after a little bit of going, she pushed me off and screamed, ‘Oh my God, I forgot I’m on my period!’ I jumped up and there was blood all over me. I was confused and worried because of obvious reasons but THEN she looked down at herself and said, ‘Oh my God, I had a tampon in and I don’t think I took it out…Oh my God, it’s up inside of me! We have to get it out.’ Guess who had to get it out? Me.” — handjokazooie
15. Dentures
“He took out his dentures BC he thought it made oral on me better. It absolutely definitely did not.” — birbie987654321
16. Nipple Boops
“In college I went home with a cute guy I met at a club and we spent a long time hanging out in his bedroom. We finally got to kissing but it was only kissing and no progression. Finally I asked him what’s up and he admits to me he was a virgin. I was taken aback by this but asked if he wanted to continue and he said he did. So I helped move things along by taking off my top. And you know what he did when he saw my breasts? He went ‘booooop’ and poked my nipple. Needless to say, sex wasn’t in the cards for either of us that night. Oh Virgin Joe, I hope you found someone who enjoys your boops.” — ohmysterious1
17. Sand Everywhere
“Was talking to this guy and found out he was staying at a condo on the beach nearby. I say let’s hook up on said beach after dark. We meet up. Neither of us thinks to bring a blanket, but we’re already there so. Sand gets EVERYWHERE – mouth, hair, inside. So awkward, so uncomfortable. The plan was for it to be a dine and dash, except after walking back to the condo I realize I lost my car keys. Had to go back to the scene of the crime and painful search through the sand to find my keys.” — Wis4WUMB0
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