27 Things Men See In Porn That They Need To Stop Doing IRL, For The Love Of God

7. Sex in water, in general.

“Shower sex when most showers are TINY irl with nothing to hold onto. Plus every guy I’ve had shower sex with can’t stand the water hot, so I’m cramped AND having a cold shower.”

6. Missionary does not always mean boring.

“More the absence of something: THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THE MISSIONARY POSITION. It’s not “boring” and “vanilla” unless you go into it with a negative mindset.

The intimacy of it can be really great- most guys love it when I ride them horizontally with our torsos pressed together, yet can’t seem to fathom why I’d find it sexy to have their body all over mine.

By all means, let’s keep doing the fun and tricky positions. But give me some missionary too dammit.”

5. Er…this one is oddly specific, but people, do not do this.

“Getting sexy with someone when I get a phone call from a friend in the hospital. I’d told this person that I was expecting a call from my friend in the hospital.

Start talking to the friend, and said person decides instead of letting me finish my damn phone convo to stick their dick in my face over and over in an attempt to get my to go down on them. Hold your freakin’ horses.

Not everyone likes to multitask like that. Especially not when they’re speaking to their dying friend.”

4. Sex, standing up.

“Trying to do it while standing if there is a considerable size difference.. it won’t line up and it’s awkward.”

3. Or sex, in far too many various positions:

“Stop trying to fit as many positions into one encounter as possible… seriously, having to readjust or stop every 5 minutes is SUPER irritating.

Every time you stop it makes it harder to orgasm and a lot of times the crazy position makes us focus on different things like, “oh wow, my boobs are hanging in my face” or “this makes me feel really unattractive” or “oh god, CRAMP!”

2. Vigorous jackhammering:

“I know it’s been said, but jackhammering, especially in a “deep” position. Not only is pounding my cervix not comfortable for me, getting stabbed by my IUD isn’t going to feel good for you.”

1. Waxing the entirety of the labia with an aggressive palm:

“Rubbing away at the entire labia with the flat of their hand, using a speed and intensity akin to what one would use when vigorously sanding a board. This doesn’t feel good!”