J.K. Rowling Gave The Internet The Exact Magic Spell For Her Attention

2 min


NEW YORK, NY - APRIL 22: J.K. Rowling poses at "Harry Potter and The Cursed Child parts 1 & 2" on Broadway Opening Night at The Lyric Theatre on April 22, 2018 in New York City. (Photo by Bruce Glikas/Bruce Glikas/FilmMagic)

J.K. Rowling is a writer who everyone wants to summon on the spot at all times. For advice, for defense, for unending questions about Harry Potter, for reassurance about their own writing career. Rowling is a generous celebrity, and is very accessible to fans on Twitter. She’s happy to pop in and share her thoughts at random times, but what if we could make her appear whenever we wanted?

Writer Hannah Whitten asked a fun general question on Twitter, wondering what five items it would take to summon you in a salt circle. I guess that’s a thing. I’ve only ever tried to summon people by staring at my phone and murmuring, “Please text me back, please text me back.” Whitten writes that her things were “chocolate covered cashews, indie perfume samples, a historical romance book, a fall-themed candle, and a cardigan.” Good list.

It’s a popular question, because it gives people the opportunity to talk about themselves and magicke. The answers came rolling in:

We all have a list of must-haves, but please consider the danger of sharing an actual spell that forces you to show up, like a spirit trapped by a witch. J.K. Rowling didn’t. She jumped in to tell everybody exactly it would require:

Her answer:

“A mug of tea, a black ink pen, Big Red chewing gum, a West Highland Terrier and something stupid Trump said.”

It’s true that Rowling always pops in to take down Donald Trump, but who would want to be trapped in a salt circle with any of his horrible words? Presumably, she’ll feed them to the dog, drink a cup of tea while penning a response, and then chomp down some Big Red as a refreshing palate cleanser.

Now you know exactly how to get Rowling into the room with you and most of those items are absolutely attainable. Just don’t keep her forever. We need her.