COMEDY

The 5 Greatest Fingers Of All Time

As you well know, the goal of the good people at World Wide Interweb is to create the dumbest possible lists the internet has ever seen. With that in mind we proudly present "The 5 Greatest Fingers Of All Time" which is "hands down" the dumbest list the internet has ever seen. Oh, and we sincerely hope your stupid fart face mom gets bitten by a squirrel monkey today

#5 The Pinky - Sure the pinky is cute and it'll eventually break, but let's face it... the pinky is the stinky of the five fingers. It serves no real purpose, it breaks easily and it's only useful function is an occasional naked bedroom time accidental butthole prank. Sorry to break it to you pinky, but you can get the boot from all hands moving forward and nobody would miss you.

pinky-finger

 

#4 The Ring Finger - The ringer fingers primary purpose seems to be a showcase of love but at the same time it also causes lots of fighting, arguments and financial hardship which is why it's so far down on the finger chain. I personally think it's time for the ring finger to get off its high horse and get a real finger job.

ring-finger

 

#3 The Pointer Finger - The pointer finger is great for pointing at things, telling people to do stuff for you because you're too hungover to get off the couch and it also gets high praise for being our "phone finger." It's easily the most utilitarian of all the fingers yet it's always seemed to lack a certain finger je ne sais quoi. Yeah I don't really know what "je ne sais quoi" actually means... what's your point? 

pointer-finger

 

#2 The Middle Finger - Let's face it, the world is full of assholes and the middle finger helps us deal with each and every asshole one middle finger rise at a time. It's also the longest of all the fingers and it allows us to make that cool snapping noise when it's quickly rubbed against our thumbs. Middle finger good.

middle-finger

 

#1 The Thumb - Sure it's the fattest and most unattractive of all the fingers, A.K.A. "The Khloe Kardashian of Fingers," but let's face it, the other four fingers would be useless without the thumb. If we didn't have thumbs we'd be forced to eat like dogs which actually isn't a bad thing the more I think about it. The bottom line is that thumbs win because they're the funniest finger to suck on and at the end of the day, isn't sucking on things what we're all really fighting for.

fonzi thumb

 

Nathan
Posted by Nathan | 
COMEDY

Awkward Thanksgiving Family Photos

Thanksgiving 2016 kicks off tomorrow, so we thought we'd prepare all of you for the beginning of the holiday season by letting you know that there are a lot of families out there that are way weirder than yours. Like, you have absolutely no room to complain about your petty, little family problems. Look at these

Nathan
Posted by Nathan | 
COMEDY

Snack Chips That Totally Look Like Stuff

If you're hungry for some amazement, look no further than this incredible photo gallery of snack chips that look like stuff. Looking for a potato chip Donald Trump? Yeah, we've got that. How about a Cheeto Jesus? Well, cheesus christ, we've got one of those too! It's time to let the internet chips fall where they may and munch on these pictures of the coolest snack chips ever photographed.

Nathan
Posted by Nathan | 
COMEDY

“Sky Penis” Takes Over An Unsuspecting Small Town

Sky penis drawings are so rare that when one happens it inevitably makes headlines. Late last week a beautiful sight hit the clouds over the Navail Air Station Whibdey Island in Washington: Someone drew a penis in the sky. The penis stood magnificent, ever-recognizable, and for a good half hour, over a town of over 4,000 people. Lots of the town's inhabitants found it absolutely hilarious, but the Navy did get a lot of calls where people we

Nathan
Posted by Nathan | 
COMEDY

The 20 Funniest Thanksgiving Memes Ever

Thanksgiving is only a few short days away, so it's time to get brain stuffed on the funniest Thanksgiving memes the interwebs have to offer. Consider these funny Thanksgiving memes your mental gravy until you eat your Thanksgiving dinner on Thursday. Not comfortable wi

Nathan
Posted by Nathan | 
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