As average Americans continue to get fatter and lazier, technology continues to create products that assist us in our quest to become completely and utterly useless human beings. Some people find this frightening but I’m not worried. Everything will work itself out once La-Z-Boy creates a recliner that turns our farts into a renewable energy source that replaces home electricity forever.
The Automatic Spaghetti Twirling Fork
The Beer Pouring Robot
The Automatic Tea Bagging Penguin
The Motorized Ice Cream Cone
The Automatic Pancake Maker
The Sock Buddy
The Self-Stirring Mug
The Automatic Banana Peeler
The Automatic Book Reading Chair (Warning: Does Not Read Book For You)
The Remote Controlled Tissue Box
Motorized Spin The Bottle
The Ab Enhancer
The Automatic Tea-Pourer
The Mother F*cking Clapper!
The Automatic Bed Maker
The Lazy Bastard Reading Glasses
Auto-Peeled Hard Boiled Eggs
Battery-Powered Scissors
The One And Only… Roomba
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