I like going for runs at night because the added fear of being murdered really does wonders for my cardio.
— Kevin Farzad (@KevinFarzad) January 7, 2015
Me normally: Ugh running is evil, make it stop.
Me injured: Ugh I love running so much, I miss it more than anything.
— Trackie Nation (@TrackieNation) November 11, 2015
I wear workout clothes and walk briskly by people eating brunch outdoors to feel better about myself.
— Abbi Crutchfield (@curlycomedy) May 9, 2015
How long are you supposed to rest in between sets at the gym? Like 6 months?
— philippe iujvidin? (@philyuck) September 10, 2015
i did like 5 squats today so if you catch me looking a lil thick tomorrow don’t be alarmed
— azizA (@afrodite_zi) February 21, 2017
Just had to ask the guy at my gym’s front desk to open my Powerade.
— Chris Kelly (@imchriskelly) July 15, 2014
Gym /jim/ (noun) – A place to sit back, relax, and catch up on social media pic.twitter.com/sBUSYa2qY6
— Funny Gym Tweets (@FunnyGymStuff) May 7, 2014
My favorite gym day is when I do 20 minutes of untangling my ear buds and then leave because I’m hungry.
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) March 11, 2014
Me loudly: one day I’ll be so strong [makes cut throat motion to member of staff] I’ll cancel my membership & just keep coming anyway.
— David Hughes (@david8hughes) August 9, 2015
My favorite part of going to the gym is when I sit in my car before going in, listening to music and contemplating getting a drink instead.
— Desi (@DesiJed) October 25, 2017
When you’re working out at the gym, looking hard and intense while people have no idea your headphones are blasting Adele.
— Yayo (@DeWayneJustinJr) December 13, 2015
I cried at the gym today bc the elevator was broken & I had to take the stairs. It was like they made me exercise b4 I was gonna exercise
— nicole byer (@nicolebyer) August 20, 2015
Making some nice side $$ reading ppl’s crotch sweat prints on equipment at the gym
— Andy Richter (@AndyRichter) January 30, 2014
Wanted to ask a woman a question at the gym and began “hi I am gay, sorry to bother you” and I think I will continue this practice forever.
— Joel Kim Booster (@ihatejoelkim) August 1, 2017
Hitting the gym later. Gonna wail on my pecs, slam on my delts, rail on my dorbs, crunch on my zonks and go to town on my flarbs.
— jon sender (@senderblock23) October 13, 2013