With over 50 million users around the world, Tinder is bound to spit out some distasteful personas every now and again. We’ve been clobbered ad nauseam with headlines exposing Tinder’s Giant Jerks (“nice guys” who threaten murder post-rejection, proud racists, relentless stalkers), Tinder’s Funniest Singles (bachelors and bachelorettes with clever tinder bios, conversation skills, profile pics), and think-pieces analyzing all the normals in between; people whose “thing” is the gym, yoga atop mountains, casual sex, striped fedoras, etc.)
All of this is to say that it takes a truly unique Tinder bio to stand out in a world where every user’s ultimate goal is to make as many people as possible swipe right. A Tinder bio like this woman’s, who is definitely 100% not a fake person who definitely 100% isn’t out to kill you. Nope. Definitely not.
“Nicole’s” Tinder bio reads, “I am looking for a lifetime partner who is really hardworking, humble, HEALTHY and trustworthy. He must have both lungs and kidneys, heart with a sinus rhythm. Non-smoker and occasional drinker is fine, or do not take any substance that could damage the liver.”
Shared as a since-deleted tweet by Twitter user @gokunaruto2000, “Nicole’s” bio raised many questions, such as what her organs she prefers to harvest and where said organs eventually end up.
The saddest part is that “Nicole” probably had dozens of responses from men. RIP y’all. And let their brave deaths serve as warning to the rest of you: read the whole bio — and between the lines — before you swipe right.