And frankly, it’s because they’re not actually nice. They claim to be “nice guys” and then Reddit has to put them on blast for treating women, well, less than nice.
Gents, if you’re reading this article, please remember that the people receiving your messages can screenshot and save them. Also, try to be better.
Lastly, if you’re reading this and you’re thinking “well, I’m a self-proclaimed a-hole whose never claimed to be ‘nice’ in the first place,” you definitely need to learn how to be better. You don’t get a pass for admitting how you act. Sadly, that’s step one of many.
The brave souls who chose to collect these texts from nice guys are doing a public service. Frankly, it’s too easy to push send on a mean or disgusting message. These people found out the hard way, however, they had the foresight to save the messages first so we could see for ourselves how not to act.
Anyway, who wants to rewrite Promising Young Woman but make it more violent?
Here are some guys who claim to be “nice guys” but who are actually awful:
1. Let’s start with the old “you took too long to reply guys.”
2. Slow down, buddy.
3. Seems like the conversation is going well so far.
4. Hmm, somebody can’t take a compliment.
5. The standard.
Now, another classic type of “nice guy”: The “Why was I friend-zoned?” sad sack!
6. Seems like a real catch!
7. Why not give it a whirl with this gem?
8. They’re definitely making money so I don’t know what the criticism is here.
9. Must be something, my guy.
10. You’re killing it, buddy!
11. You both seem nice.
Another classic that’s in the same vein as “why was I friend-zoned?” is the old “I’m nice and every other man is garbage, yet these bad guys keep getting women. WTH?”
12.
13. May I offer a critique, ma’am?
14. I’m a male and have never once thought this.
15. Complain that you’re nicer than everyone while also sounding like the saddest dude on the planet. Not a good look.
Dan is a stand-up and author and has been featured on Sirius XM, the RISK! podcast, in the Boston Comedy Festival, the Cleveland Comedy Festival, Out of Bounds Comedy Festival, Cape Fear Comedy Festival, and the North Carolina Comedy Arts Festival.
He’s written for any number of websites including someecards, College Humor and, yes, WorldWideInterweb