For way too long, so-called “nice guys” have been complaining about how they don’t get dates and how women only like them as friends. Yet somehow the guys who call themselves “nice” are frequently not really nice at all, they just feel that they’ve earned sex as a reward from women because they’ve listened to her during a tough time or been a shoulder for her to cry on.
Well, one woman has had it with men whining about this and went off on Facebook, writing a scathing post about how women don’t seem to go out with “nice” men mainly because “nice” isn’t even really a personality trait, it just indicates that a guy doesn’t act straight-up mean.
The post reads,
I’m gonna explain why ‘women dont like nice guys.’
It’s not ‘women like a**holes instead of nice guys.’
Its ‘women are attracted to actual personality traits, and nice is not one. Not really. ‘
‘Nice’ just means ‘not an asshole.’ People arent attracted to ‘nice’ because it doesn’t *mean* anything.
People are attracted to Funny. Witty. Sweet. Thoughtful. Compassionate. Interesting. ‘Nice’ isn’t a personality trait. It’s a default setting. The bare f**king minimum.
If all you bring to the table is ‘nice,’ you’re f**king boring.
And if you have to tell people you’re nice, you’re… probably not as nice as you think you are.
For example if you think women owe you sex over someone else because of your perceived niceness, you’re a giant bag of d**ks.
The post went viral and ended up on Reddit, where people cheered for her missive in the comments.
‘Nice’ means inoffensive, polite and probably safe to be alone with.. If a friends asks you what you think of a guy you know and all you can say is ‘Nice Guy’ isnt really much of a recommendation – unless you barely know them. Hilarious, great fun, clever, lovely guy etc etc conveys something more substantial about him.
Nice Guy is literally the embodiment of true neutral.
I dunno, the way they talk it’s like they were born in an evil place and swim upstream all the damned time just barely making nice & neutral happen. I mean, they make it sound like being nice is this massive effort on their part, thus thinking they deserve a cookie (or a nookie cookie).
The guys I know who would say “that’s what I get for being a Nice Guy” were the guys who were perpetually going after women who were currently in relationships. They were the guys of unrequited love. They were the guys who didn’t understand why their love interest wasn’t interested in them because they “listened to her when she was upset.” It was always that “why doesn’t she see what’s right in front of her… It me,” situations. Dawg, you aren’t owed a relationship because you did the bare minimum of being an empathetic human being.
Salesmen are “nice,” politicians are “nice,” serial killers often come off as “nice” at first. If you’re only being nice because you’re trying to get something from another person it is creepy.
David Wong (Cracked) wrote that describing yourself as ‘nice’ is like a restaurant advertising with the slogan ‘Our food will not make you sick’, or a movie poster that says ‘Actors clearly visible in all scenes’.
Unless its Russell Crowe and Ryan Gosling, I never want to hear from “Nice Guys” again.
Although not everyone agreed 100%.
I don’t reallyuse it that way though. If someone is compassionate or seems like they care about other people I describe them as nice or kind. The way it’s described in this post doesn’t really seem to fit with me, if being nice is “the bare minimum” I sure know a whole lot of people who aren’t the bare minimum. And people who are not “the bare minimum” do still get into relationships, so I don’t think it’s quite that simple.
I always just thought “nice guys”, as in people who talk about how nice they are, are typically just entitled assholes and not actually nice.
I generally agree with OP’s post, but there are a few inaccuracies.
“Nice” embodies some of those other listed traits: Sweet, Thoughtful, Compassionate. It’s not “neutral”.
Also, those are not traits that women find attractive. Those are traits that women would like their partner to have, sure. But that’s not the same as “attractive”.
Witty and interesting are attractive traits. Other big ones are confidence and social ease, leadership traits, risk taking, and physical presence.
Someone else pointed out that often, it’s the so-called “nice guys” who get especially angry at women for rejecting them.
You left out the part where the niceguy™️ calls the girl a slut for rejecting him.
Right! Because the hallmark of a slut is refusing to f**k.
Maybe these “nice guys” should look into getting some other personality traits, ones that are a little more interesting.
h/t: Reddit