On Monday evening, Jezebel writer Ashley Reese penned an article titled, “I Really Want This Fashion Nova Bodysuit That Will Only Cover 15 Percent of My Labia.” As expected, Reese makes fun of the fast fashion brand’s cherry red Here For Fun Bodysuit for being utterly unwearable for the non-masochistic among us.
And, as expected, an angry comment immediately appeared underneath Reese’s satirical piece. A comment that led freelancer writer and performer Emily Pratt to tweet, “I fully lost my mind while reading this Jezebel comment.”
i fully lost my mind while reading this jezebel comment pic.twitter.com/ZES24exnFE— Emily Pratt (@emilyofpratt) March 26, 2019
The comment—written by Kinja community user Bagdash, kicked off with “It seems you need an anatomy lesson,” and only gets worse from there.
Bagdash explains that “Labia are not the entirety of the groin” before accusing Reese of believing that “everything in the world” should be tailor-made to her specific vagina. “Women with smaller labia are also just as normal as you are with whatever your labia size is,” they wrote.
“Instead of whining about s—t that doesn’t meet your specific needs, why don’t you champion something that does instead.”
The rant begins to crescendo as Bagdash repeatedly admonishes Reese, encouraging her to simply not shop at stores if their clothes do not fit her body.
“This s—t company, whatever it is, isn’t doing this to spite you, it just doesn’t fit you. So, like any normal, non-armchair social activists, just buy the s—t that fits and don’t buy the s—t that doesn’t. If this company is really that s—t, which I’m sure it is, then let it be on the smaller-labia-ed women to decide if they like it or not.”
And here comes the plot twist: “As a short man, I wouldn’t comment on the designs of a big-and-tall store.”
The introductory “It seems you need an anatomy lesson” was, shockingly, written by a man. That was also to be expected. But it still doesn’t stop there.
Ad nauseam Bagdash attempts to hammer his point home. (“So you have big labia. Great. Keep it to yourself. Do you want me talking about the size of my dick, big or small?”). He keeps going for several more paragraphs, throwing in a bonus explainer on the “problem with feminism” (women acting like men.)
Thank you, sir, for mansplaining labias while mentioning the size of your dick, and thank you also for so succinctly breaking down “the problem with feminism.”
Reese commented on the post and tweeted out a simple reply: “Easily the most deranged comment I’ve received since writing for Jezebel.”
Easily the most deranged comment I've received since writing for Jezebel. https://t.co/U289JQ93jq— Ashley Reese (@offbeatorbit) March 26, 2019
Why argue with women over an obvious joke that wasn’t intended to be specifically funny to an angry short man? Will men ever stop talking about labias like they know what they are? (No.)
And also this:
Read Bagdash’s comment in its entirety below:
It seems you need an anatomy lesson. Labia are not the entirety of the groin. Whereas I can see where you are trying to compensate for the idea that the vagina is the totality of female genital, this is a little beyond what is necessary. Some women have large labia minora, which might not fit in this, but not everything in the word is tailor made to YOUR BODY. You can’t expect for everything to fit you “just right”. Women with smaller labia are also just as normal as you are with whatever your labia size is. Whereas I could give a f—k a bout the Kardashians or this company, maybe some of them might like it. I might want to be able to where pants with a 35″ inseam, but it will never happen because that’s not my body shape.
Instead of whining about s—t that doesn’t meet your specific needs, why don’t you champion something that does instead.
This s—t company, whatever it is, isn’t doing this to spite you, it just doesn’t fit you. So, like any normal, non-armchair social activists, just buy the s—t that fits and don’t buy the s—t that doesn’t. If this company is really that s—t, which I’m sure it is, then let it be on the smaller-labia-ed women to decide if they like it or not.
As a short man, I wouldn’t comment on the designs of a big-and-tall store.
So you have big labia. Great. Keep it to yourself. D0 you want me talking about the size of my dick, big or small? For example, these jeans just wouldn’t be able to handle me.
It’s not for you, I get it. But who f—ing cares really. The size of your labia and what they do or do not fit into is not a topic of conversation any more than you would like to hear about my penis and how it might be chafing from my clothes, which you have every right not to want to hear.
Now to get myself in trouble, a problem with feminism in this sense is that it tries to bring women to the level of men by acting like men. That being said, men acting like men has been the problem. We don’t need women to act like men in all of their bulls—t.
Be a woman, not like a man—I think we would agree that what we’ve seen over the past couple thousand years and beyond of recorded history is that men are/can be total s—t. Don’t be like us.
And all that being said, yeah, this whatever it is is stupid.