Chris Wahl
A couple about to tie the knot found themselves in hot water after their wedding invitation – or rather, non-invitation – made its rounds on a wedding-shaming Facebook group. The invite, which was misspelled, asked people to join them “in spirit,” sparking a flurry of accusations about “gift fishing” and quickly became the talk of the page igniting heated debates.
At first glance, the pink, flowery invite looked like your typical save-the-date. But take a closer look and you’ll notice something off. The couple wasn’t actually inviting anyone to their wedding. Instead, the message read, “Please join us in spirt.” Yep, that’s not a typo from me – that’s straight from the invite itself.
The New York Post reported on the hilariously misspelled invitation, which was actually asking friends and family to send gifts without showing up for the big day. The wedding is set for March 2025, and it seems the couple wanted to rack up those gifts without the hassle of hosting a big event.
A couple getting married sparked “gift fishing” accusations after sending non-invitations to their wedding
Image credits: that’s it, I’m wedding shaming
Not surprisingly, the internet had a lot to say about this.
One Facebook user didn’t hold back, commenting, “If you want people to know but you’re not inviting them, send an announcement AFTER the fact. And stop being so f*****g greedy.”
Another chimed in with, “LMFAO if I got this, it would go straight to the trash.”
“We’re having a wedding [smiley emoji with hearts] you’re not invited [two white hearts],” a netizen joked.
Someone said: “There is no reason to send a ‘You’re not invited’ announcement unless it’s because they expect gifts.”
People were quick to mock the misspelling too. “I spirt my drink,” one commenter joked.
Despite the backlash, there were a few who tried to defend the couple, suggesting they might have started with big wedding plans but got overwhelmed and opted for an elopement instead.
“I don’t see how it’s gift fishing. They are just making an elopement announcement. This reads more to me like someone that probably sent out save the dates, got too over their head with wedding planning and said Eff it–elopement but now we gotta tell ppl.”
But most weren’t buying it.
“There’s no reason to send something out telling people that you are getting married months from now and they aren’t invited, except to get gifts,” one skeptical netizen pointed out.
The soon-to-be-married pair asked people to join them “in spirit”
So, does etiquette demand a gift even if you’re not invited? Etiquette expert Maryanne Parker says it’s a faux pas not to send a gift if you’re invited to a wedding. But she was quick to note that this scenario is a bit different.
Maryanne stated:
“Always send a gift for the new couple. We are living in difficult times, and everyone needs a little help in the beginning. Also, make sure the gifts are not highly personal, as this can be inappropriate. Get a gift for both of them, indicating that you support their union.”
But again, that’s if you’re invited – not if you get a “join us in spirit” note.
A 2022 survey of over 1,000 engaged couples in the US found that 62% were open to a scaled-back, elopement-style wedding, with women more likely to consider it at 69%. The survey also revealed the average wedding cost in the US is a whopping $33,204, and many couples feel they’re spending too much.
Lauren Gravelyn from Helzberg Diamonds noted that cutting out things like flowers, alcohol, a band/DJ, and a videographer could save couples up to $19,480.
“Modern couples are motivated by elopements because of cost efficiency and the intimacy of the environment.”
The debate over this non-invite rages on, with opinions flying left and right. While some sympathize with the couple’s potential overwhelm, the general consensus seems pretty clear: this invite is a major faux pas.
