me: I think I'm gonna throw a halloween party
mom: oh good I'll get my coffins out of storage
— Ariana Grande (@ArianaGrande) October 20, 2014
Me: What do you say when you hold up your bag?
3-year-old: Treat or treat.
Me: TRICK or treat.
3: I want two treats.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 30, 2017
haunted house idea: u walking down a narrow hallway w Cheerios stuck to ur sweatpants while your ex and his new family walk in front of u
— kim monte 🏳️🌈 (@KimmyMonte) October 16, 2015
If you really want to scare everyone this Halloween, dress up as intimacy.
— Trevor S (@trevso_electric) October 27, 2014
New haunted house idea: it’s a single room, but all the actors are sleeping moms, and on a pedestal in the middle is one of these you must open before you can leave pic.twitter.com/Oms2iSzKGK
— Sean Chiplock @ SGDQ Prep (@sonicmega) October 21, 2018
The best part about Halloween is seeing people in costume doing normal shit. Just saw a Dracula standing by a car eating potato chips.
— pat tobin (@tastefactory) October 30, 2016
trick or treat?
"It's October 14th"
I'm dressed as a time traveller
*scraps dinner off plate into his bag*
— brent (@murrman5) October 15, 2014
What's a good Halloween costume that doesn't require makeup and isn't uncomfortable and is my regular clothes?
— Alex Baze (@bazecraze) October 19, 2016
HALLOWEEN COSTUME IDEAS:
SLUTTY TECH SUPPORT REP
SLUTTY TARGET LADY
SLUTTY CIVIL WAR NURSE
— JAY [ham] KAY (@NurseMurderer) October 9, 2013