Jason Mustian
10. A tote for anyone who realizes dogs are better than people.
Get it on Society6 for $20.
9. A bottle opener made for drinking alone, which is totally OK by the way. Don’t let anyone judge you.
Get it on Amazon for $10.
8. A laptop sticker to help you avoid small talk when you’re surfing the web in a coffee shop.
Get it of Society6 for $25.
7. This graphic tee to gesture to let people know when they’re getting too close.
Get it on Society6 for $21.99.
6. And this mug featuring a plant who’s as antisocial as you are.
Get it on Amazon for $12.
5. This giant bear body pillow for those times when you actually want to cuddle with something, but people just aren’t going to do the trick.
Get it from Plow & Hearth for $79.95.
4. A custom-print onesie that just screams “GO AWAY.”
Get one custom made on Beloved for $160.
3. This escape pod.
Get it for a mere $2700.00.
2. This mug that’ll tell people exactly how you feel.
Get it from LookHuman for $16.
1. This shirt for when you do have to interact with people, but want them to know you’re not enjoying it.
Get it from LookHuman for $19.99.
To be clear we may receive a portion of the sales from these items, but even if we didn’t we’d still recommend them. They’re awesome.
h/t PizzaBottle
Jason Mustian
Jason is a Webby winning, Short-Award losing humor writer and businessman. He lives in Texas with his amazing wife and four sometimes amazing kids.