People look past a lot of things for love. Maybe your girlfriend doesn’t have a college degree, but she’s got the street smarts to back up her intellectually and philosophically stimulating conversations. Or Maybe bae is a terrible cook and can’t even make microwave mac and cheese, but he’s the sweetest, most genuine guy out there (his 8 inch penis doesn’t hurt either). But sometimes, when you’re months, years, or even decades into a relationship, things can happen that make you realize that you’re dating a complete and utter idiot.
Sure, being smart isn’t everything, but when you’re staring at your lover while he’s eating a bowl of “Christmas cookies” that are actually dog treats, you have to wonder — how did he get this far in life without me? Has he just been skipping along, thinking that this is how normal cookies taste? What a disgrace to Oreos. When you have a child, you always hope that when they try putting dirt in their mouth on the playground, they’ll end up hating it — but that’s not always the case. Okay, so real talk — I once stuck my tongue out and licked the side of a Walmart while my mom pushed me along in a shopping cart when I was three and I didn’t hate it. Yikes.
So I guess it all comes down to — does my significant other have other qualities to make up for their stupidity and idiotic tendencies? Will I have to keep explaining simple things like how the moon and sun ARE NOT the same thing for the rest of my life? F*ck, I don’t know if I could. But hey, that’s something you’re going to have to wrestle with. Just make sure the dog treats are clearly labeled in the kitchen, or else the boyfriend might keep eating them.
These people found out they were dating complete idiots and it’s pretty f*cking hilarious:
1. When your boyfriend’s trying to be cute, and you don’t have the heart to tell him:
2. “My girlfriend didn’t want to lose the keys to her lock.”
3. Somebody needed to pay a little bit more attention in… literally any grade/life event/television show/the world in general.
4. “I told my boyfriend that I wasn’t feeling well and asked him to buy a thermometer on his way home from work.”
To be fair, we are all just a bunch of meat sacks walking around.
5. “My girlfriend just asked what the “NO” on this switch meant.”
6. I asked my wife to bring my basement shoes to me. She said, ‘The Opaads?’”