Objectively bad Tinder bios never get old.
There was the ‘world’s worst straight dude Tinder bio,’ which might not be worthy of that superlative but did award and deduct points based on a variety of incredible factors. There was also that dude who sent a woman a list of ‘self-improvement tips‘ that included losing weight and laughing at his jokes—THREE MONTHS after their actual date. And who could forget that guy who tricked his (first) date into attending his grandmother’s funeral which, while not a Tinder bio, is most definitely a Tinder horror story.
Today’s addition to revolting male Tinder canon IS an actual bio. And, by some coincidence of fate or irony, it belongs to a dude named Chad.
26-year-old Chad has a shirtless selfie as his profile picture, which would be less sad if he was more in shape, but as it stands is just plain funny. Chad’s list of very specific demands—which are non-negotiable—include hair color, fitness level, height, a well-paying job, and a proclivity to keeping house.
And that’s just the half of it!
Chad also demands his prospective girlfriend “give good head and call me anything I want,” “be available at all times,” and, shocker, “devote as much time [to him] as possible.”
Chad’s full bio, originally posted to Reddit’s Tinder sub, reads:
“Must be to my standards:
MUST: Be blonde or brunette.
Be fit and toned, go to the gum > 2 weekly.
Be no more that 5’ 6 and no less than 5’2 in height.
Be available at all times.
Give good head and call me anything I want.
Be able to cook and clean.
Be a non-smoker, non-alcoholic and no druggies.
Devote as much of your time to me as possible.
Have a steady income >$70,000pa.
Have own apartment that I can crash at occasionally.
MUST NOT: Approach other men.
Smoke, drink or do drugs.
Go to the club or “girls nights”.
If you fit these criteria, swipe right, I will not not settle for anything less.”
Eagle-eyed Redditors noticed the presumably accidental use of the double “not,” which inadvertently suggests Chad will gladly settle for less (as if he has a choice…)
People were like, “be available at all times” AND “make $70k a year”???
One redhead in particular took offense to Chad’s discriminatory specs.
You deserve more, Chad!
GOOD LUCK, CHAD!
Don’t ever settle, Chad. Or reproduce.