NEWS

Squirrel Vandalizing Christmas Lights Caught By Police

"Somebody is trying to steal the spirit of Christmas," said Amy Dafeldecker, referring to damaged wires that ruined a popular Christmas display in Sea Girt, New Jersey, just weeks before their annual tree-lighting ceremony that the entire town looks forward to every year. Sea Girt is a small town 65 miles south of New York City where the police department had been busy trying to hunt down the culprit behind the pre-Christmas vandalism. Locals and officials were convinced that there was a vandal on the loose going around and trying to "Grinch" the place up, stomping on holiday cheer. That was until the Sea Girt police department finally found their menacing vandal the morning after the lighting ceremony.

The Sea Girt Police Department said that they were "proud to report that [their] case of broken holiday lights [had] been solved. [They were] happy that no human acted as a grinch in this incident. The squirrel was "charged" with criminal mischief and released on bail.

I wonder what that squirrel could have possibly been hoping for. Like why? Maybe because the lights were so colorful (can squirrels see color?) or maybe it's because it was something warm. Either way this little butthole almost ruined Christmas for a bunch of small town kids and the Sea Girt Police Department are all heroes for finding this savage beast and bringing him to justice. At first I kind of thought that the announcement would read "The Sea Girt Police Department is proud to report that our case of broken holiday lights as been solved. We are happy that no human acted as a grinch in this incident. The squirrel has been euthanized and its remains currently top our Christmas tree for all to enjoy. Merry Christmas, Sea Girt!"

Bonus points to their police department for the tasteful use of Emojis.

 

Nathan
Posted by Nathan | 
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