Alex Buscemi
Ah, the office food thief—a mysterious, elusive creature with no shame, no morals, and your lunch.
You bring your favorite foodstuffs, carefully labeled with your name, only to find an empty container in the fridge later. The audacity. It’s as if they think the office fridge is some sort of communal buffet. No leftovers, snacks, or even a sad sandwich is safe. The worst part? They never leave any clues, just a gnawing sense of betrayal and a grumbling stomach.
These underfed and fed-up employees who were sick of their lunches being nicked decided to do something about it — namely, booby-trapping their meals with vegemite, blindingly spicy hot sauce, or good ole fashioned E.Coli.
Scroll on for satisfying tales of sweet revenge — sweet for the person enacting it, at least.
1.
“I worked in an office where there was a break room food thief who would not quit no matter how many angry meetings were held about it. For some reason, the thief really liked my sandwiches. So one day, I finally had enough, and I liberally doused my sandwich with the most ridiculously top Scoville rated hot sauce that I could find. Like so hot that the reviews from people who loved really spicy things were saying that they couldn’t handle it.
The thief didn’t think anything was wrong, because I often put hot sauce on my sandwiches. We found out who the thief was really fast, because all of a sudden, an employee who I knew did not like me started yelling, oh my god, again and again and trying to drink a million glasses of water. They never stole a lunch again.” – u/Cocoannut_Twirl
2.
“I got tired of having sandwiches stolen so made a turkey sandwich and let it sit on the counter for a couple days before taking it in. Sure enough, it disappeared and someone had to leave early that day because they got sick. Never owned up to stealing it and thefts did seem to stop.” – u/JumpyAuthor4985
3.
“Made a tomato based sauce with lots of fresh basil and mixed a tablespoon of Da Bomb hot sauce to it. The dude suffered bad.” – u/wabudo
4.
Photo by Patrick Fore on Unsplash
“I had a jar of jelly beans on my desk. I bought special ones I loved. I noticed that handfuls were missing overnight. I got so tired of it I bought the gross jelly beans that taste like vomit, throw up, ear wax, grass, and other horrible flavors. I put them in my jar and waited. Stopped real fast.” – u/roguebeam
5.
“A guy at my old job was stealing food from fridges, and was caught nicking food from the kitchens too (we were a food manufacturer company). Our Facilities Manager locked down his pass key so he couldn’t access certain places without a chaperone. Toilet and in-out the building was fine, but the kitchen and canteen he needed to be let in. He left soon after.” – u/MattyFromtheUK
6.
“I made a blindingly hot curry. The funny part is that he had me dragged into the facility manager’s office for ‘trapping’ my lunch. I ate a forkful like it was no big deal and then pointed out to the manager that, if he was okay with stealing from his coworkers, then he’d definitely be okay with stealing from the company. They started doing random bag checks after that and that guy always got his back checked when it happened.” – u/confident_jello_5326
7.
“Red food coloring in my chili. Found them real quickly.” – u/8urfiat
8.
“I just told on them and they got fired.” – u/DrakeLostLol
9.
“I made a salami sandwich generously spread with Vegemite. Buddy old pal must have though it was bbq sauce or else. Never came back for my food. And for Aussies out there I’m not saying that stuff isn’t tasteful but to the unprepared European taste it’s quite awful.” – u/13atou
10.
Photo by Ivan Torres on Unsplash
“I left 2 pieces of pizza in the fridge. I removed the cheese layer carefully and dumped a ton of salt on top of the sauce and put the cheese back on top.” – u/xs-murdoc
11.
“I left my lunch on top on my truck in the Florida heat then placed it in the fridge. It didn’t take long to identify the suspect.” – u/deleted
12.
“I labeled my food with fake warnings about being spicy or expired. No more stolen lunches.” – u/peakwinter6717
13.
“This happened to a friend of mine. She would leave her sandwich in the communal fridge. Every day it got taken. Finally she got a plastic bag printed with mild on it. Nobody touched that sandwich again.” – u/mojhlk
14.
“Made a lunch out of spoiled chicken. The security guard was out sick for 2 days. I guess he thought no one would suspect him. Even when he returned, he was pale as a ghost.” – u/johnandahalf13
15.
Photo by Matthew Huang on Unsplash
“I had some cupcakes that were stolen. The next time the cupcakes were filled with shaving cream.” – u/fangelo2
16.
“Mixed a ton of red food coloring into a small amount of ketchup and spread on sandwich. Caught red-toothed. May not work with people who brush their teeth.” – u/fusiondust
17.
“Good ole mayonnaise as icing on the cupcake trick.” – u/_space_pumpkin
18.
“I kept it at home until it expired/went rancid, then chilled it again, then took it to work. When it got stolen, not my problem.” – u/nefvnelara
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