Chris Wahl
Parenting is like trying to juggle while riding a unicycle on a tightrope over a pit of hungry lions. Okay, maybe not that dramatic, but you get the idea. Most parents are just winging it, hoping they don’t mess up too badly. And then there are those moments that make people wonder if they are a bad parent or not. We’ve all seen some red flags of bad parenting. Like when bedtime turns into a negotiation that would make a UN diplomat sweat. Or when your kid’s lunchbox is filled with snacks that have more sugar than a candy store at Halloween. And don’t get me started on the epic fails in the discipline department—let’s just say time-outs are more like time-ins for mischief plotting.
The question “What screams “I’m a bad parent”?” was posed in an AskReddit thread recently and more than just a few people were willing to share their opinions. Some are truly heartbreaking while others have simple fixes. But hey, parenting isn’t about perfection; it’s about love, laughter, and sometimes just surviving until bedtime. Let’s learn from the disastrous and vow to do better because all tiny humans deserve it.
# 1
Filming everything your child does and creating a social media page to garner likes and ad revenue.
# 2
Using children as pawns in divorces or separations.
# 3
Your own children being afraid of you, no child should be afraid of the person that looks after them nearly 24/7.
# 4
When the older kids have no life or time on their own as they’re too busy raising their siblings.
# 5
I’ll use my mom as an example: When their goal is to have a child, not to raise an adult. So they purposefully keep them young, discourage independence, and pour their entire identity into being mom. Then, when that kid becomes an adult, they have no idea what to do with their life.
# 6
Taking their bedroom door off because they haven’t “earned” privacy.
# 7
Being on your phone while the kids are running rampant. i get people need breaks but at a restaurant i don’t really want kids coming over to my table and messing with food and screaming everywhere.
# 8
Letting your child watch a video on their iPad on full volume in a restaurant. Please parent your child and engage with them so they know how when they are older.
# 9
Having extremely unreasonable, unrealistic expectations for your child, i.e., maintain 5.0 GPA Pre-K to College, earn a noble peace price at 20, somehow get married at 25, and have 6 kids by 30, get six figure job right after college, take care of the entire family on their own dime etc.
# 10
Treating your kid as your therapist.
# 11
Stealing from your child. When I started college I had saved up about $800 for books and supplies. Two days before class starts I go to buy my book. I have $600 worth of stuff ranging from up and my card declines. I put everything back and check my bank app. I have $30. It says that the last transaction was an in bank transfer to my dad account. I called him and asked what happened.
His response:
“I was short on bills. I’ll get you back in two weeks on payday.Me: “ok but you didn’t ask. I need that for school and I just looked like a moron since my card declined.”
Him: “I’m the parent. I don’t have to ask you for anything. You should be grateful I’m giving it back at all. It’s not my fault you didn’t check your bank account before trying to make a big purchase.
Later that night he cussed me out for changing my passwords and log in info. He says he has the right to see what I’m spending my money on.
I got the money back a week later with an extra $200 “for the inconvenience”.But the damage was done. I already had flunked two quizzes because I didn’t have textbooks and my library only had the outdated copy that gave me wrong answers.
# 12
Constantly yelling and losing it on your kids. How are they going to learn about stability and communication with parents like that.
# 13
Parents (usually moms) that self identify as “crunchy/silky/scrunchy/almond/whateverthef**k moms”. Parents that post their kids all over online on the same pages they post their OF links and photos and videos of themselves half naked. Parents who tell everyone their kid is neurodivergent as an excuse for their behavior, especially if they’ve never actually been tested. Family vloggers. Parents who exploit their disabled children for money/attention. Parents who post videos of their kids throwing a fit or getting hurt because they think it’s funny. Parents of adult children who no longer speak to them.
# 14
Trapping a child in a car as you smoke. Add into the mix the child has chronic bronchitis. Chronic bronchitis is a pulmonary disease, not a cold. No child should have this. Commenting for a friend.
# 15
Never apologizing.
# 16
Sheltering children from uncomfortable feelings.
You have to let your kids learn to process and handle those feelings. Don’t assume something is too hard for them to understand, I promise they already know something is happening/wrong, so help them understand it.
This also goes for punishments too. Nobody likes to make their kid mad or cry. It’s not fun grounding kids for a messy room, not getting chores done, or lying but they need those life skills. You’ve only got a set amount of time to teach them to be good, thoughtful, respectful humans.
# 17
Child : scream.
Parent : scream louder.
# 18
Not having open lines of communication, where your children feel they can’t talk to you about their day, concerns at school, or what’s on their mind, might indicate a need to work on the relationship.
# 19
When a parent compares their child to another child such as their friends, cousins, etc. Never giving the child any praise. Speaking to them as if they are a child when they are a teenager. Not paying attention while they are playing or acknowledging when they come up to you wanting to show you something. Replying “later” to everything they ask you to do. When they want something such as to see their friends, and instead of supporting them, you never allow them any social freedom. The list goes on.
# 20
Not showing up for your kids. As someone who’s worked up to 3 Jobs at one time I’ve never missed a concert, sporting event or birthday. There are of course circumstances that can’t be bypassed but if you miss more than you attend it’s a you problem.
# 21
Trying to be your child’s friend and not setting structure or expectations or disciplining them.
# 22
Not knowing anything about your child’s life. Best friends, favorite things, favorite teacher, what they like or don’t like to eat. Not having an interest in them as individuals. Not allowing them to be individuals.
# 23
As someone who works wit elementary aged kids, being too controlling about everything, not just with your kid but trying to control what your kid is around when you aren’t, there are several parents who have tried to get books taken out of our school library, freaked out that teachers put on movies during indoor recess (we are a catholic private school owned by the Archdiocese there are so many restrictions) or even that we give out cookies for after school snack. There are two young kids who have already learned how to lie to their mom, they are in third and first grade so they can have the fun treat we give out instead of just getting an apple while everyone else gets popsicles.
# 24
Smoking a cigarette while holding your baby.
# 25
Playing favourites when all kids should be equally loved (not my experience but my boyfriend’s).
# 26
I’m telling on myself from the past here (bad parents can become better), but putting off therapies your child needs and refusing to set boundaries because you feel bad about a situation that happened.
This allows for bratty kids who think the world revolves around them and setting boundaries later with the child is Hell. My kiddo is recovering and doing so much better now, but it took a huge wake up call and it shouldn’t have.
I can’t stress this enough: parent your kids! They will be so much better for it in the long run. No amount of guilt should stop you from teaching your children boundaries and how to respect them.
# 27
When they expect gratitude for food, shelter and the bare minimum they provided as they had too.
# 28
Parents who let their home go to s**t. I get it, kids are messy, lives are busy, and your home will never be perfect. But some scattered toys, piles of schoolwork, and a few drop zones around the place isn’t what I’m talking about. I’m talking about moldy food everywhere, hoarding, not cleaning up after animals, and houses full of rodents and roaches attracted to the biohazard of a mess.
# 29
Your kid seeking out other adults to confide in when it comes to difficult topics, because they’re scared of how you’ll react.
# 30
Pressuring constantly his/her own children, displaying them like trophies or accomplishments instead of human beings.
# 31
“We don’t say no in this household.”
The idea and sentiment behind that phrase I can understand but the way the majority of parents put this in practice is just always saying, “Yes.”
I’ve been in numerous 504 meetings where the the behavioral issue can be mitigated by boundaries.
# 32
Parents who cave-in to their kids demands and let the kid control them.
# 33
Letting them run around a restaurant.
# 34
Parents with fat kids who continue to feed them garbage.
# 35
People who have family blogs.
# 36
I’m an “influencer” and my kids are part of my channel.
# 37
Not leading by example.
# 38
Be on first name basis with all the officers at the juvenile detention facility.
# 39
Your kids at grandmas more than with you because you’re out having a “good time” every weekend!
# 40
Not monitoring your kids screen time.
