If You Recognize More Than 15/30 Of These Pictures, Sorry But, Ya Old

I’m 34. I know it’s not “that old” but every time I say it out loud, I’m shocked.

That’s middle-aged (for me, at least. I am unhealthy).

Elder Millennials were born in the 80s. We didn’t know anything then. We thought trickle-down economics was a good idea. Chia Pets were still around. Landlines were a thing. The world was different. And now, if you see anything on this list that you instantly recognize, I’m sorry to tell you, but you’re old.

Getting old isn’t all bad. Firstly, you still have your health. Unless you’re me. Then, you do not have that. Secondly, you can now judge young people by saying the word “dial” when they’ve never actually dialed a phone. That’s exciting. Lastly, you can die peacefully without ever finding out what an NFT is.

Rest easy, my old brethren. This too shall pass.

Don’t shoot the messenger, but if you recognize a majority of these nostalgic items, you are old now:

1. If you can remember ashtrays coming standard in every car door, then guess what… you’re old.

2. The feeling of these thick VHS tape cases were only felt by old people who had VCRs.

3. The Tan M&M was available in 1995. If you remember 1995, then I’m sorry, but ya old.

4. The coolest kid on the block had one of these laser pointers. He is now a father of 3 and saving for retirement.

5. If you fiddled with this ashtray in the back of a car, you are now 40.

6. You’re old if you associate finishing a book with getting a free personal pan pizza.

7. Ask your parents what these are.

8. If you were working in an office when keyboards had one of these, congratulations. You are now retired, old man.

9. Uno used to look like this.

10. I can hear the batteries dying on this book, and I can feel my body dying also.

11. There’s Kool-Aid in there or some other juice from frozen concentrate.

12. Everything about this photo is back in style except for the 10-foot cord on the phone.

13. You needed a folder to keep track of where each CD was. Real ones know.

14. Can you remember when projectors didn’t even connect to a computer? You’re old.

15. Sharpening a what now?

16. Before the phone told us where to go, someone in the passenger seat had to navigate.

17. Recognize these solitaire cards? You are closer to death than birth.

18. I don’t even know what this is exactly but it’s for a monitor on a computer that’s younger than you are.

19. Now I’m crying about how good coke tasted in these way back in the day.

20. Anyone who took a bad picture of a tube TV like this one is old enough to remember the Clinton/Lewinsky scandal.

21. You had to be there.

22. These hold floppy disks. What’s a floppy disk? Get out of my sight!!

23. People my age can remember the taste of summer.

24. There were a few years around 1999 where we needed to see the inside of every gadget.

25. In 1991, this is what the logo for Comedy Central looked like.

26. If you remember stretching in front of this, you are now unable to reach your toes.

27. If the wheels of this ran over your fingers, you grew up in an age where kids were truly free.

28. The soft buttons on this cable box were a revelation once.

29. Here’s your sippy cup, you ancient hag.

30. You had this exact burned CD. You had most of those songs on it. Ya old.

h/t Reddit: r/nostalgia

Dan Wilbur

Dan is a stand-up and author and has been featured on Sirius XM, the RISK! podcast, in the Boston Comedy Festival, the Cleveland Comedy Festival, Out of Bounds Comedy Festival, Cape Fear Comedy Festival, and the North Carolina Comedy Arts Festival.

He’s written for any number of websites including someecards, College Humor and, yes, WorldWideInterweb