I’m 34. I know it’s not “that old” but every time I say it out loud, I’m shocked.
That’s middle-aged (for me, at least. I am unhealthy).
Elder Millennials were born in the 80s. We didn’t know anything then. We thought trickle-down economics was a good idea. Chia Pets were still around. Landlines were a thing. The world was different. And now, if you see anything on this list that you instantly recognize, I’m sorry to tell you, but you’re old.
Getting old isn’t all bad. Firstly, you still have your health. Unless you’re me. Then, you do not have that. Secondly, you can now judge young people by saying the word “dial” when they’ve never actually dialed a phone. That’s exciting. Lastly, you can die peacefully without ever finding out what an NFT is.
Rest easy, my old brethren. This too shall pass.
Don’t shoot the messenger, but if you recognize a majority of these nostalgic items, you are old now:
1. If you can remember ashtrays coming standard in every car door, then guess what… you’re old.
2. The feeling of these thick VHS tape cases were only felt by old people who had VCRs.
3. The Tan M&M was available in 1995. If you remember 1995, then I’m sorry, but ya old.
4. The coolest kid on the block had one of these laser pointers. He is now a father of 3 and saving for retirement.
5. If you fiddled with this ashtray in the back of a car, you are now 40.
6. You’re old if you associate finishing a book with getting a free personal pan pizza.
7. Ask your parents what these are.
8. If you were working in an office when keyboards had one of these, congratulations. You are now retired, old man.
9. Uno used to look like this.
10. I can hear the batteries dying on this book, and I can feel my body dying also.
11. There’s Kool-Aid in there or some other juice from frozen concentrate.
12. Everything about this photo is back in style except for the 10-foot cord on the phone.
13. You needed a folder to keep track of where each CD was. Real ones know.
14. Can you remember when projectors didn’t even connect to a computer? You’re old.
15. Sharpening a what now?