21 Women Share “The Biggest Mistakes” Men Make During Sex

Sex can be really bad or really good, as many of us know. It all depends on any number of factors, though there are some pretty obvious no-nos. Or at least they are obvious to straight women—they aren’t always so obvious to their male partners.

A recent AskReddit thread from u/radaee asked women to share the biggest mistakes men make during sex, and they promptly complied. 

There were plenty of repeat answers, which makes me think there is some sort of disconnect between what men think feels good for women during sex and what actually feels good. Is porn to blame? It certainly isn’t not to blame!

Gentlemen, please maintain good hand and fingernail hygiene. 

On that note, here are some of the biggest mistakes women feel men make during sex:

1. Not having a sense of humor

Not be willing to laugh about things that go wrong, and ripping off of clothes too fast.—u/becauseimcountolaf

2. Not maintaining the correct speed

When I tell them to keep going and I like it and they start to speed up or change their tempo. I liked it the way it was before—u/Zoeyz93

3. Over-thinking it

Over-analyze it. Dude, it’s not always going to be seeing stars and sh*t. Sometimes, it’s a 10-minute stress releaser and that’s fine.—u/[deleted]

4. Being impatient

Not having patience to find the hole first so you just keep jabbing all around me or while I’m guiding you, you get too anticipatory and smash my hand.—u/thatgrrrl117

5. Again, not maintaining speed

When we say ‘don’t stop’, DON’T START SPEEDING UP! Keep doing EXACTLY what you’re doing, for f**k’s sake.—u/strawberrychel

6. Not communicating

Lack of communication. You could avoid all the mistakes listed here and be doing it completely wrong for your partner. Not all women want the same thing.—u/Mr_frumpish

7. Being over it as soon as it’s over

Lack of post coitus snuggle. I hate abrupt endings—u/Stabfacenotback

8. Not being up-front about what feels good

Be honest with yourself as to what you like and need. Was with a guy who NEEDED to finish by hand, but desperately didn’t want it to be that way. He would just keep going until it started to hurt me, and then feel ashamed. I have no problem you taking matters into your own hands while I help in other ways!—u/Cohult

9. Stopping too soon

When we say “I’m going to cum” THAT DOES NOT MEAN STOP WHAT YOURE DOING—u/orangeturtles9292

10. Not knowing how to use your endowment properly

Size + no skills = pain!!!—u/lestatsbride

11. Being overly rough with sensitive areas

Treating the clit like they’re scrubbing a pan clean Rubbing in between the vagina and clit up and down (rubbing against the urethra), you’re giving me cystitis and it doesn’t feel good—u/thepotatoissleeping

12. Ignoring foreplay

The number of men who think good sex is them pumping away, without any kind of foreplay involved, then are surprised when we tell them we didn’t have an orgasm is troubling.—u/DeadSharkEyes

13. Treating delicate parts like machinery

Finger like you’re digging for something/ trying to start a lawn mower. Where did you learn this?? Please stop.—u/ecitruoc

14. Switching it up too often

Switching positions a lot. I don’t want to feel like a chicken getting grilled. One or two for sessions are perfect for me. No, it does not get boring—u/personpoweer

15. Drooling (?)

Unless you know shes into it, slobbery wet kissing. Being drooled on like a dog is a huge turn off. Again, unless shes into it.—u/HowDoesRedditWorkAHH

16. Confusing porn with real life

Thinking that real women like what porn actresses pretend to like.—u/bluehorserunning

17. Forgetting the boobs (don’t!)

Please please please don’t forget I have boobs. Touch them at least. How does one lose the love of boobs??—u/mendingbrokenthings

18. Neglecting nail hygiene 

Please learn how to use your fingers! 1. Cut your nails 2. Don’t try to rub a hole in my clit 3. Don’t poke! It hurts! 4.CUT YOUR DAMN NAILS!!!!—u/Dolliiy

19. Being too quiet

Silence. This is not the occasion for a stoic demeanor. Let me know you’re enjoying yourself for chrissakes.—u/Cephalopodio

20. Don’t grab me like that.

The head push. We will go down on you when we are ready/willing.—u/Frtyto

21. Talk to your partner about ~talking to your partner~

Bisexual male here if you want my answer. Dirty talk without knowing if the partner is into dirty talk. Seriously, there’s a lot of words out that are an instant turn off. Dirty talk somewhat goes along with role play. Don’t just start doing it. Make sure there’s some agreement first.—u/ZeusDX1118