Spoiler: yes. But keep reading to find out just how bad!
u/Alfredd6 recently asked Reddit’s AITA sub if he was the asshole for missing his daughter’s birth. I cannot image a situation where you WOULD NOT be the asshole for that, so let’s see if Alfredd here can defend himself.
OP’s wife is pregnant; they’ve been trying for a few months and they’re ready for this baby. Awesome! Mazel!
For a little background information I (28M) have a beautiful wife (27F) we’ve been trying for a baby for about 3 years now and have known each other since we were in high school. When my wife found out she was pregnant we were thrilled and have been getting prepared for months now, shes (9 months pregnant).
He explains that he works for his dad in the family restaurant. It’s not a great working environment with threats of demotion or firing for missing shifts, but OP needs the work.
My dad is a real a$$hole, but he keeps me employed. He owns a pretty nice Italian restaurant that has been run by my family for decades. I’ve worked there since i was about 15 and I am now head chef. The problem is he treats his employees pretty bad (including me) and if you even miss one shift you get demoted or even worse fired.
In the middle of a very busy shift on a very busy day, he got a call from his mother-in-law; wife was in labor!
I was in the middle of a very hectic shift on the busiest day of the week when my MIL called saying my wife went into labor and I needed to get to the hospital right away.
OP’s dad would NOT let him go, which is bonkers.
When I asked my dad if I could go he said “You can go if your ok with being unemployed” which I couldn’t risk because after the baby was born my wife would be off work for quite a while to be a stay at home mom.
OP couldn’t risk losing the work or pissing off his understaffed dad. So…
The reason my dad was so mad at the idea of me leaving was because he was understaffed and really needed my help.
He tried to tell his MIL, but they were obviously A LITTLE BUSY having the baby. OP just… finished his shift.
When I tried calling my MIL she wouldn’t pick up so I just kept working and that I thought could explain myself later.
He tried to visit in the hospital, but his in-laws refused to let him in the room. His wife and baby have been staying with his MIL and refuse to speak to OP.
Later when it was time to go home I drove to the hospital but MIL and her sisters refused to let me in the room and called me names like “a bad father and a bad husband”. When it was finally time to leave the hospital my wife and new born baby went home with MIL and they haven’t spoken to me in days even when I try and apologize and explain myself.
He thought he was doing the right thing… but was he?
I thought I was doing the right thing but I need to know, AITA?
TL;DR My dad owns a popular business and needs staff. I am head chef so I need to work all the time. My wife went into labor and I missed the birth because of my dad.
Here’s how Reddit felt:
“YTA. Here’s a news flash…lots of restaurants need staff. You should have gotten out from under your father’s thumb a long time ago, before it affected your wife and child. I’d say more, but I don’t want to hold you up because you have a lot of groveling to do. A LOT,” wrote one user.
Another pointed out, “YTA. You had cards in your hand, son. You forgot to play them. You should have taken your knives and said, “good luck with never seeing your grandchild, then” and disappeared into the night. You had all the aces. Him facing his wife for saying that. Their being the grandparents, You knowing all the recipes and how to follow them. You just didn’t play them because you were afraid. Getting one more saltimbocca out is not worth missing your child’s birth for. You did wrong.”
