TWEETS

Internet Erupts After Man Finds Shrimp Tails And Rat Poop In Cinnamon Toast Crunch

Jensen Carp, a podcast host and writer, was innocently pouring another bowl of delicious Cinnamon Toast Crunch one morning when he noticed something extra in the bag. Was it a fun prize? No. In fact, it was quite the opposite. He found what appeared to be two shrimp tails mixed in with the cereal. Want to judge for yourself?

Here’s a photo of what Jensen Carp found in his bag of Cinnamon Toast Crunch:

Now, people with big Twitter followings often have issues with brands. Don’t get me started on how many comedians tweet at airlines in the hopes that poor service and publicly putting a company on blast for said service will result in a free roundtrip ticket to Detroit someday. It happens. It’s not always news.

This story, however, took some strange turns. Firstly, the cereal brand responded poorly. Secondly, Jensen’s wife, who happens to be Danielle Fisher (Topanga from Boy Meets World), found another package of the cereal that seemed to have been haphazardly taped shut. Inside the bag were non-cereal-related items like dental floss and rat poop.

Here is how the Shrimpgate saga began and how it may make you rethink Cinnamon Toast Crunch:

1. First, let’s get a closer look at what Karp shared.

Listen… That one on the left might be something else, but the shrimp tail on the right is most definitely an empty shrimp tail. Someone or something ate some shrimp and left the tails in the cereal. I’m no business expert, but I would assume General Mills might want to do some damage control. Let’s see how they responded.

2. General Mills had a standard response on Twitter at first. “How about some free cereal because the last bag had shrimp in there?”

Cinnamon Toast Crunch shrimp tails, funny twitter thread about cereal and shrimp, fishy, gross, companies on twitter, cereal with mouse poop in it, gross things found in food, Jensen karp

Twitter

Karp did not accept the offer. He had two bags of the tainted stuff in his house, and I don’t blame him.

3. After the initial negotiations broke down, Cinnamon Toast Crunch went full Shaggy and tried to convince us not to believe our own eyes.

Cinnamon Toast Crunch shrimp tails, funny twitter thread about cereal and shrimp, fishy, gross, companies on twitter, cereal with mouse poop in it, gross things found in food, Jensen karp

Twitter

Not the smartest move. Best to at least admit that something went wrong. It doesn’t even have to be your fault. It could be the store’s fault. Why would you go this extreme?

4. Jensen Karp tried to make it right, but Cinnamon Toast Crunch demanded he prove his case in the lab.

Cinnamon Toast Crunch shrimp tails, funny twitter thread about cereal and shrimp, fishy, gross, companies on twitter, cereal with mouse poop in it, gross things found in food, Jensen karp

Twitter

It’s safe to say that this is the moment the wheels came off. Is General Mills really so stubborn? Is it policy to argue with people online about what they found in their product? Or is someone having a bad day?

5. In what I assume is a worst-case scenario for anyone running a food brand’s Twitter account, people started to show their support for Karp.

6. Pete Holmes is hooked.

7. A possible explanation from Paul F. Tompkins, but still no denial that shrimp was involved.

8. With the support of many famous people on Twitter, Karp did another close inspection, and yep. Those are shrimp.

9. LOL.

10. Jensen kept the bit (not actually happened) going by telling the brand he was “feeling different.”

Well, we’ve had fun here. Certainly, Jensen’s day couldn’t get any weirder than arguing with a company about what he saw with his own eyes. The joke’s over let’s all- wait, what’s that? You want to see what else might be in the bag? Your funeral.

11. Sadly, the drama was not over. Shrimp tails were the least of this man’s concerns once he looked back into the bag.

 

12. Oh, no…

13. Looks like mouse poop to me.

14. Or could it be…No.

15. His wife, Danielle Fishel, found even more:

16. Now there are two witnesses. Who are you going to trust? A corporation run by a cartoon baker or Topanga?

17. We know who did this:

18. Though the mystery hasn’t been completely resolved (we’re still waiting for General Mills to test the sample tails), and Jensen ate a bowl before noticing the shrimp, he is feeling well:

19. We will keep you updated as details emerge. Until then…

20. More theories about what happened trickle in:




Dan Wilbur

Dan is a stand-up and author and has been featured on Sirius XM, the RISK! podcast, in the Boston Comedy Festival, the Cleveland Comedy Festival, Out of Bounds Comedy Festival, Cape Fear Comedy Festival, and the North Carolina Comedy Arts Festival.

He’s written for any number of websites including someecards, College Humor and, yes, WorldWideInterweb