Dating, no matter how you slice it, is a tough task. A lot of times you have to make sure you’re even being SEEN in those apps, and that’s why lying about things like height are so common place. If people have filters on for those, say, 5’9″ and above and you’re 5’8″, it’s a bitter pill to realize you won’t be seen.
So is this LYING? Kind of, I guess, but I feel like it gets a pass — I mean, we all know everyone’s doing it, right? u/True_Nobody_8902 recently posted to Reddit with a complaint about a guy who was 5’8″ and said he was 6’1″, which is … okay, that one’s pretty egregious – no pass there – and ranted about the lying.
We met through an app, his profile said he was 6’1”, and I’m 5’ 7”. If a guy is 5’8” I truly don’t care about height beyond that, and he was clearly my exact same height. Regardless, we had an awesome date and had he approached me in a bar I absolutely would have said yes.
It’s the lying though, I understand the frustration guys feel with the height thing, but I just feel like he already lied off the bat, is this a red flag or do I let it slide…? TO CLARIFY: THE HEIGHT IS NOT THE ISSUE. The lying is the issue.
Here’s what Reddit thought.
I feel similarly, height is not a big deal to me, I’m only 5’3”. But I’ve met several men who claim to be 6 ft, and at best are 5’7”. The height doesn’t bother me but the lying does.
2. It’s the lies
A 6 1 guy match with me, but I could tell he was short. He asked are you really 5 10? Me? Yup. Him: unmatch. Im with you lying isn’t the way. If they can lie about something so obvious what next?
3. Is it the same?
If a woman lied about her weight then everyone would be saying catfish so how is this any different?
4. It’s the difference
That’s too big a difference. It’s a lie. If he’d added an inch or two, no big deal. He added 6 inches. I don’t care about height. I date someone my height easily.
5. He’s insecure
Honestly, you’d have to be pretty dim to think that you can get away with fudging your height so significantly so if I were to base the viability of your relationship on that factor alone, I’d say dump him for being such an insecure moron.
6. This is it
Not saying I agree with the deception but he did get a date with OP and she is even considering continuing. Her own post says that she doesn’t care as long as they are 5’ 8” and above. Had he put 5’ 7” OP by her own admission would probably not have considered him. This is why guys do it.
7. Get rid of it
Dating apps should just get rid of the height specification. They never ask your specific weight either.
8. Might be innocent
So for a long period of time I really thought some of the average height guys lied in their profile about their height. However, after discussing it with several of them, they mentioned to me I might be a bit taller than I thought. And I was like, hmm when was the last time an actual doctor measured my height? Yeah, I was like 15 when a doc measured me and after that age I thought I stopped growing. Turns out I am actually taller than I thought I was. I was like… why are you insisting you are 1.78 cm when I am 1.74 and I am clearly as tall as you are. Turns out I am probably around 177cm tall and I had no idea. I’m not saying this might be the case for you but you might want to check your height again 🙂
9. Red flag
Yeah I date short guys all the time, but the lying would definitely turn me off. Giant red flag.
10. I wouldn’t infer
I don’t buy this line of thought. Some dudes are just insecure about their height. That’s it. Doesn’t mean he’s going to cheat or lie all the time, it simply is a data point about their insecurities. I wouldn’t infer anything else from it one way or another.
11. I wouldn’t notice
I don’t pay attention to height really… until I got a date with someone that was way too tall. Now I pay attention. Honestly the lying would be a issue for me like what else is he lying about. He might be lying about some thing more important just to say what he thinks I want to hear.
12. It’s about getting replies
He put 6’1 to get more responses lol
13. It’s not malicious
I think he’s probably lying out of insecurity rather than to be malicious. But I get why the insecurity itself would be off putting, unfortunately we tend to like people who are more confident and less insecure (obviously all people are insecure about something, but he’s just gone and highlighted one of his for you on the first date?) so I get why it would make you feel less attracted. Sounds like you had a good date tho and liked him? So maybe go on another one and see how it goes!
14. Would you have gone?
So if his bio on the app had his real height you still would have gone on the date? Or nah?
15. It’s a trade
The app is the issue (from his perspective). If he put his correct height of 5’7″ (way under the average for men’s height), he’d receive less than 1/500th the volume of responses that he presently receives imo. So, it’s a trade off: be honest and see no women, or, deceive and lie about something that’ll be very obvious when seen in person, and take a chance on out of 500 times as many women, some or many of them will be thinking, for him, it really doesn’t matter to me. Sure, a lie’s a lie. But, is it truly an unreasonable lie, for him? It’s not like he’s continuing the deception by wearing 6″ shoe lifts, right?
I feel you. Had the same thing happen to me, said he was 6’1 and I’m 5’6/5’7 but he was at least half a head smaller than me, like, bro wtf