Chris Wahl
We’ve all been there, watching a little kid try to make sense of the world and ending up with the funniest, most unexpected conclusions. There’s something magical about the way kids think. They’re like tiny detectives, piecing together clues to understand how things work, and sometimes, they get it hilariously wrong. I recently stumbled upon a goldmine of these “kid logic” moments on Reddit, and let me tell you, I was in stitches. These little humans have a way of seeing the world that’s both charming and laugh-out-loud funny. From thinking clouds are made of cotton candy to believing that turning off the lights will make you invisible, their innocent misunderstandings remind us how refreshing it can be to look at life through a child’s eyes. So, check out some of the best examples of kids hilariously misunderstanding everyday stuff. Trust me, these stories are guaranteed to brighten your day.
#1
Leaving the daycare center, a kid called back, “BYE-BYE! Be safe, watch out for polar bears!”
We are not in polar bear territory, but polar bears live in the snow, so since it snowed earlier in the day, it was only logical that we were at elevated polar bear risk.
#2
When I was a little girl, I had a Barbie and a Ken doll. I wanted more Barbie and Ken dolls. I put them in a shoebox together, naked, and pushed it under the bed so they could make more dolls. I had no idea how close I was to knowing how babies were made.
#3
My son once told me he had a brew after he bumped his arm. I said I think you mean bruise. He said that it was a brew because he only had one.
#4
Closing their eyes makes them invisible.
#5
A toddler I was watching stood next to a tree. He then licked the bark of the tree the way a dog would lick an ice cream cone: full blown, no inhibition.
Shocked, I asked him why licked the tree, and he said, “I didn’t know what it tasted like.” He caught me so off guard, so all I could say was, “you know what, that’s fair. ”
I asked him if he liked it. He said, no, no he did not.
#6
My daughter was having trouble falling asleep and came to me crying that her pillow didn’t work.
#7
I was fly fishing a popular canoeing river when two middle school aged kids came paddling down in a rented canoe. They got turned 180 degrees in an eddy and instead of trying to turn their whole canoe back around they just turned around in their seats and started paddling downstream again. Most adults would try paddling back around but this was by far the more efficient way to handle it.
#8
My 5 yo grandson insists the instructions you receive with a Lego set are “the constructions”, and really I’m having difficulty arguing against it.
#9
I was one of many kids who thought musicians played live in the radio station when you heard their songs on the radio.
#10
My sister has two children, ages 3 and 1. I had my first child in September so my nephews now have a cousin.
The three year old insists that it is only his cousin, since he is the oldest and his younger brother will have to wait for the next one before he gets a cousin of his own.
#11
When I was a kid we experienced an earthquake. I ran to my mom screaming “the dinosaurs are coming!” I was really into The Land Before Time and whenever the Brontosaurus walked the ground shook so it made sense.
#12
Maybe not best but recent: My coworker’s kid lost a tooth yesterday, and the kid said he was going to wait until Sunday to put his tooth under the pillow so the Tooth Fairy can meet Santa lol.
#13
My husband was working at a child care center and his car was in the shop so he needed a ride. When I arrived to pick him up, one of the children who was also getting picked up asked if I was his mom. Because that’s who picks up people from day care, moms and dads. Makes perfect sense using kid logic.
#14
“I don’t want to live on Earth, because Earth is in space, and space is dark, and I’m afraid of the dark.”
#15
My son (around10 at the time) and I were watching “The Lou Gehrig Story” and towards the end of the movie he asked me what sickness did he have and I said Lou Gehrig’s Disease. . . after a few seconds my kid said something along the lines of “Well they should have known all along since his name was Lou Gehrig.”
#16
When I (white) was a kid, my best friend (black) was floored to learn white peoples’ poop was brown. He’d just assumed ours was white.
#17
When I was a kid, my brothers and I came up with “Christmas Adam” as the day before Christmas Eve, because Adam came before Eve.
#18
My grandparents’ old trailer had ants. I wanted to help and knew they liked sweet things, so I added a bunch of sugar to some juice and made a trail from the house to an ant hill to lead them out. It did not have the desired effect.
#19
Whenever we went on holiday, and my daughter started seeing Seagulls, she’d say “look, holiday birds!”
#20
I desperately wanted a kitten when I was younger. Every time we went to the grocery store, I’d try and sneak cat food into the shopping cart, thinking that if we got home and unpacked it, we’d *have* to go out and get a cat.
#21
When I was 15, I used to babysit this lovely kid called Jack.
He would very proudly tell people “I’m three!” And hold up three fingers. One day, I asked him how old did he think I was? He gave this very careful consideration.
“26.” He said firmly.
“Why do you think I’m 26?” I replied, mildly offended.
“Mummy looks after me and she’s 26. You look after me too.”
Fair enough!
#22
When I was really little our preschool class grew beans in a window and my little brain decided that all food must be grown from seeds. Long story short my mom found about 15 chicken nuggets in her flower bed when she was planting tulips.
#23
My husband and I used to have two cats. One cat’s name was just Little Cat.
My 3 year old niece called our other cat “Big Cat” because if there’s a little cat, there has to be a big cat.
And our other cat was pretty big so I couldn’t even correct her.
#24
My kid as a toddler invented the word “nexterday” because she knew “yesterday” and “next” but not “tomorrow”.
#25
I had just birthed my daughter via C-section. My toddler son saw my incision, and concluded that his baby sister had busted through my stomach like the Kool-Aid man.
#26
Aight so one time my niece was over with my brother and his wife. My niece said “let’s be dragons” so I’m like ok cool this is f*****g awesome.
Here I am in my 50s and get to be a dragon. So I put up my big dragon wings and dragon face and she stopped dead in her tracks and said “uncle guru, you don’t have to pretend to be a dragon you can just BE one. See? I’m a dragon and so are you. Let’s go see dad.”
So we’re just standing there like two humans and she says “we’re dragons” with a shrug of her shoulders like I know it’s obvious but just in case…
So yeah, blew my mind lol.
#27
My niece said that Santa was fat because he was pregnant, and that he was going to give birth to gingerbread men.
#28
I remember a story of an astronaut going to give a talk in a school and one kid asked him “how do I become an astronaut?” and the astronaut replied “you have to go to school for a very long time and then train your body and mind and then pass a test. its very hard” and then the kid replied “that’s like only 4 things!”. Changed my outlook on life haha.
#29
I was a student teacher, and bumped into one of my seven-year-old students in the morning. He was walking and told me “I always step over the cracks [in the sidewalk].”
I asked “How come?” and expected him to say something about “So I don’t break my mother’s back.” (That’s an old rhyme).
Instead, he said he was “practicing” … “in case there’s an earthquake!”
#30
My kid asked to go to the “fish museum.” She didn’t know the word for aquarium, but I’d say she got the concept across pretty well. Now we don’t refer to it as anything else.
#31
When I was about 6 or so, my very religious grandmother offered to buy me something at the church yard sale. There was a Grateful Dead shirt. I wasn’t familiar with their music back then, I just liked the color and design. She told me it wasn’t proper attire for a Christian. I responded with “Christians go to heaven when they die, right?” She said yes, to which I proclaimed they would then be grateful to be in heaven, and grateful they were dead. The logic didn’t work, and I didn’t get the shirt.
My mom still brings it up and laughs occasionally. As an adult I love the Grateful Dead and for my 40th birthday my mom got me a grateful Dead vinyl box set.
#32
I don’t know if this counts, but this kid asked something I never heard anyone ask before: how come Cinderella shoe doesn’t change after midnight?
#33
High school friend shared that when she was little she thought babies came from Target because she always saw them in the carts when they went shopping at Target.
Keep in mind we grew up in the 1970s in Minnesota and Target was were we shopped. There was no Walmart here.
#34
So… I have a naturally-low core temp, which makes my skin feel like an ice cube.
Youngest Cousin (born 2019) had had a high temp back in 2019, my aunt just handed her to me to have me cool her down by holding her — I became the Baby-Cooling Station. When she decided she needed to cool down at a cook-out in 2021, she shouted, “I GE I PAK!”, toddled-over to where I was napping, grabbed my hand, and just put it to her forehead before shouting, “I GAH I PAK!” when my aunt asked her what she was even doing.
EDIT:
I just felt like typing-out how she said those two things, since it was super-cute. But, they mean, “I GO GET ICE PACK!” and, “I GOT ICE PACK!”, respectively.
#35
I used to wonder why the snow was on top of the mountains if they were closer to the sun.
#36
I thought cotton came from clouds, and the colorful cotton you would catch at sunset.
#37
I once fed our VHS player a peanut butter and jelly sandwich because my parents were tired of it “eating” the tapes.
