By now pretty much everyone agrees you should tip, where appropriate, but if you don’t, is it OK for a waiter or, in this case, a dancer, to potentially blow up your marriage?
That’s the ethical conundrum served up by a Nashville-based exotic dancer named Marina—or as the halls of TikTok echo, @twentyfirstcenturywh*re. Though with a name like that, you have to assume she’s not too concerned with society’s moral compass.
Our bride-to-be, crowned “Miss Bad Decisions 2023,” took the concept of a bachelorette party as a “last hurrah” a little too seriously. She didn’t just flirt with bad strip club etiquette; she went all-in, practically giving it a lap dance. No tipping, recording the dancers on her phone, and oh—canoodling with some random guy that wasn’t the poor sap waiting for her at the altar.
All this happened under Marina’s watchful gaze, and she decided she was going to be the whistleblower this love story didn’t know it needed.
Here’s how Marina broke the news: “If your fiancée is having her bachelorette party in Nashville on the week of August 31 and has braces, hair about this length with blonde highlights,” she gestured to her shoulders, “a cowboy hat with a veil on it, she is cheating on you.”
It’s not just a call-out; it’s a public service announcement for anyone contemplating matrimony with a cowboy-hatted, braces-wearing woman in Nashville.
And just when you thought, “Well, everyone makes mistakes,” Marina drops this little gem: “She also doesn’t tip, so you got yourself a winner.” This is not your garden-variety lack of self-awareness; it’s practically an art form. And let’s not forget the Spielberg ambitions—our bride-to-be was also trying to record the dancers. It’s like she was going for a trifecta of terrible decisions.
Marina wrapped it all up with a neat little bow: “Good luck with your divorce! I hope you have a good prenup.” Because really, if you’re about to marry someone who treats a bachelorette party like a choose-your-own-adventure of bad life choices, a prenup is the least of your worries.
So, what’s the lifespan of a secret in the modern age? It’s about as long as it takes for a ticked-off dancer to fire up TikTok and serve you a reality check. Just remember, folks, in the era of oversharing, your indiscretions are only as private as the nearest smartphone.