Cow flees slaughterhouse, granted N.J. asylum

A wise cow named Freddie with a serious beef about dying escaped from a slaughterhouse in Queens yesterday.

The runaway cow led New York City police on a chase down Jamaica Avenue before being captured in a parking garage, according to Workers told the news website they were planning to kill Freddie Friday until Stura stepped in.

Syklands Animal Sanctuary, which provides lifelong homes to cows, pigs, turkeys and goats has agreed to give Freddie the Cow a new permanent home where no future company BBQ retreats will threaten his safety.


Nathan Davidson

A master of the internet farts and sciences. Often accused of being into movies, television, sports, gaming and long walks to the kitchen. Spent the last decade writing about the absurdity that is the internet with a primary focus on comedy, sports, entertainment and exposing cats for being evil monsters. Somehow achieved a BA in Advertising from the Michigan State University and MA in Copywriting from The Portfolio Center. Hobbies include keeping "that's what she said" jokes fashionable, imitating noises like a parakeet and preventing political arguments. List writer for Ranker and former Editor-in-Chief of World Wide Interweb.