Mike Primavera
Ok, before everyone gets all freaked out and starts the “chimps are gonna take over Planet of the Apes style!” remember, this is exactly what you look like but you can drive a car and do math.
this monkey is like. properly browsing insta and it's messing with me pic.twitter.com/9hFIQWEJsN
— danny (@dsemumi) April 25, 2019
That being said, how crazy is this? Look at it acting just like people. It even has that same dispassionate look in its eyes. That look that says, “there’s probably something much more important I should be doing, but I simply cannot.” You think apes will rise up and we’ll be their slaves? Dude, we’re all slaves to Instagram.
There is something eerie about a subhuman being using technology so precisely. Really makes you wonder if Instagram is even using any of our higher brain functions.
Wow! He even double taps! ? https://t.co/8UcI1pQa8Y
— Jessie Wallace (@JessieWallaceUK) April 25, 2019
How many times have you had to show your parents how to use their phones? I got my mom on Instagram last year and still, the only thing she can do is comment something mortifying on everything I post. Does this monkey give lessons?
My parents can’t do this https://t.co/EX5slIle2q
— matt tobey (@mtobey) April 25, 2019
However, at least my mom is a loyal follower. If you’re gonna follow me at least like and comment. That’s just basic Insta etiquette.
This man is scrolling and not liking anything ? I stan a hater ass ape https://t.co/WaLApq82iH
— Sinesipho (@iSendim_) April 25, 2019
At the end of the day, these guys are basically really hairy people who can’t talk. I have an uncle who’s not too far off from this. I don’t think we should be keeping either of them in cages. Whether it’s evolution bringing monkeys farther along or a testament to Apple’s flawless design structure, I think we can all agree this is pretty incredible. You even have a new excuse for creeping now.
“Why did you like my picture from 2 years ago?”
“My monkey had my phone” https://t.co/S1sBcoPHDp
— $welly (@ImSwelly) April 25, 2019
I say let’s sign them up. Give them all phones and Instagram accounts. They couldn’t do anything worse than what we’re doing with it.
BRO imagine u gettin a dm that just says banana and it’s from a fucking monkey https://t.co/NyJ2YGvySZ
— Unregistered HyperCam 2 (@wetsock69) April 25, 2019
One of the most shocking things about all of this is how shocked everyone is. I think most people have no idea just how intelligent these creatures are.
Apes/monkeys are unreal. Yale did a study where they taught capuchin monkeys the concept of money by allowing them to exchange silver coins for food. One of the males was caught paying a female for sex and then she used the money to buy grapes. Smart bastards https://t.co/a4Z4xTlSry
— lou (@lou_tredaway) April 25, 2019
Chimps have been trained to create their own hunting tools and communicate with sign language and computer keyboards for decades. This video does not support the the superior design of IG/iOS but the impressive intellectual capacity of non-human primates. https://t.co/cTi2931V7I
— Chidi Williams (@ChidiWilliams__) April 25, 2019
Let me leave you with this little detail you might have missed. It made my day.
The fact that he’s looking at Tarzan’s profile makes me happy. https://t.co/Aia9oIE9by
— ??????? ????’? (@GazelleMonetArt) April 25, 2019
h/t: KaleSalad
