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Someone Untied Betsy DeVos’s $40 Million Yacht And It Crashed Into A Dock

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Over the weekend, someone untied Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos’s $40 million super yacht in Huron, Ohio and set it free to haunt Lake Erie like a pirate ghost ship. Unfortunately, the SeaQuest (lol, like the ‘90s show!) didn’t make it too far. The yacht drifted as hopelessly as, say, an Amway billionaire in the position of Education Secretary, until it smashed into a dock causing thousands of dollars of damage (presumably to the boat).

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But don’t worry! No one was hurt except the ship, and the billionaire DeVos family actually owns 9 more of those. That’s enough to put one in each of the Great Lakes AND all the major oceans!

According to superyachtfan.com—a website I can’t believe exists—the SeaQuest has enough room for 12 disgustingly rich people and 12 crew members (who will most certainly mutiny and eat the former in any sea emergency, or “sea-mergency”).

It’s unclear what this massive monument to conspicuous consumption was doing in Ohio. The closest anyone can guess is because DeVos was recently in Toledo visiting a prison and a career center, where they hopefully teach people skills that keep them from falling prey to the DeVos family’s multi-level marketing racket, Amway. (Skills like how to crew a yacht, perhaps.)

The good news (for DeVos, not peasants like you) is that the massive tax cut she got from Republicans in Congress will be more than enough to cover the damage, and even buy some brand new super yachts!

This isn’t even the first incident of Trump-related vandalism this week. Yesterday, some hero reduced Donald Trump’s star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame to rubble. The person responsible for that act of protest turned themselves in, but in this case the police are as clueless as, say, an Amway billionaire in the position of Education Secretary.

I have to say, while harmless vandalism is pretty funny, a loose yacht can actually do some damage to stuff that matters. Not as much damage as having a public-school-destroying scam artist as Education Secretary, but still.

h/t: Toledo Blade