I’ve seen a handful of these “AITA for being mad about X person kissing Y” and like, yeah. 99% of the time, yes, yes you are, because nobody’s lips but yours (and I guess your partner) are your business. So you may be wondering: is u/aitata3726 an exception to the rule? Because she asked Reddit recently if she was wrong for “‘threatening’ to kick out my coworker/roommate for kissing my best friend”.
Let’s read, shall we?
Around February I (23) let my coworker, Jayden (25) and his daughter Lia (6) move in.
OP let her coworker and his daughter move into her space and notes that they’ve become very close — and calls him cute.
We were coworkers and friends for 3 years, and he’s always been so funny, smart and cute. We became really close friends.
Jayden lost his job and OP extended the offer to let him move in with her.
Unfortunately work decided they can’t afford to keep everyone and have been making cuts, and Jayden was basically forced to quit. I know he was really worried about his rent and everything and my roommate was leaving so I offered for him to stay with me and we worked out an agreement.
She notes that having him around has been great and the daughter has also been very sweet. When Jayden found work, it was part time, so they kept the bones of their arrangement.
We decided that while he’s still looking for a job he’d deal with all the chores and errands and housework. It’s honestly been amazing having him live with me (he’s SUCH a great cook), and Lia has actually been really well behaved and sweet. He’s helped me out a lot and I really enjoy being able to spend all this time with him. He has found some part time work but nothing that pays enough for him to live alone, so we’ve mostly kept our agreement, just with me doing more and him helping pay a little.
OP’s friends have met him; last weekend, she had some pals over and one of them kissed Jayden.
My friends have come over quite a few times, and obviously met him. Last weekend I had a bunch of my friends stay over. I thought it went great but the next day Lia told me she saw Jayden kiss my best friend.
OP was upset, despite having absolutely no reason to be because they are not dating.
I was really upset and Jayden and I ended up arguing about it. I told him how betrayed I felt. He tried to say it was fine, that apparently that kiss ‘wasn’t intentional’ and he didn’t say anything because they ‘didn’t know what it meant’.
She called the kiss “wrong” and seems to think that she’s doing anything for him, that she deserves some kind of loyalty.
But it’s still wrong, I’m doing so much only for him to do this to me. I got upset and told him that he will have to leave if he just wants take advantage of my kindness. That I don’t want to live with someone who betrays me like that. He was offended and just tried to act like it was no big deal and I was being crazy.
Rightfully, this poor dude said she has no right to dictate his love life. Her best friend “agreed to back off”.
He thinks I ‘have no right’ to say anything about his love life, even though it’s my best friend and I’m doing so much for him. Our talk didn’t really work but I did talk to my best friend, and she agreed to back off.
Jayden is now moving out (good) and OP is left wondering if just MAYBE she was wrong. (YES)
The last few days have been horrible and he doesn’t think he’s done anything wrong. I’ve tried to talk again, but he now refuses to and has been really cold, and told me that he’ll move out as soon as he can. I don’t think I’ve done anything wrong, it’s his own fault. I want to work this out, but he shouldnt be going around kissing my friends. But the fighting has really upset Lia, and obviously Jayden thinks I’m an asshole even if he’s being selfish.
OP also notes that she is NOT jealous.
IM NOT JEALOUS! This isn’t about that. I’m not in love with him or anything, I’d know if I was. This is just about him betraying me, about him going behind my back.
Clearly everyone’s the type to just hook up without caring about anyone else. There’s way too many people so respond to now. Like ive said it’s NOT ABOUT JEALOUSY. IM NOT IN LOVE with Jayden. It’s just rude and ungrateful to sneak around and do what he did.
Here’s how Reddit saw this story:
“I genuinely don’t get your issue. Sounds like you’re jealous. YTA,” wrote one user.
Another asked, “Is Jayden aware that you have feelings for him? And that you expected them returned because of your “selfless acts of kindness”? YTA”
And OP’s reply to that question? It’s a doozy: “I haven’t told him, but it’s not about that. He doesn’t have to like me back. But he can’t go around kissing my friends. He and his daughter would have been homeless if I didn’t help him. I mean Lia sees me as a mother figure now.”
I mean, YIKES.