Redditor u/autumxnn recently asked the famed AITA subreddit if she was in the wrong for canceling her wedding (that is TOMORROW) because her sister miscarried. I’m not entirely convinced she’s an a–hole, but maybe a little focused on the wrong person? I’ll let her explain:
This morning I woke up to a bunch of texts from my sister who lives fourteen hours away. She’s been pregnant for a little less than 5 months. She was supposed to be the maid of honor at my wedding, but she delivered the news that the doctor told her she had a miscarriage.
OP writes that her sister, who lives 14 hours away, miscarried at just under 5 months. Definitely sad. Definitely physically hard. But then OP turns around and…
I can only imagine the grief my sister is going through. She can’t attend my wedding and even though everything is already booked and we had some guests flying in for the wedding, I just can’t have it without her.
Wants to cancel her wedding? I … am a little confused by this; I just can’t make that mental leap. Her fiancé did not like the idea of canceling; it’s an important date and had been in the works a long time.
I thought my fiance would understand, but instead, he got extremely upset. We’ve been planning this date for a while now because it’s his mother’s birthday and very special to him.
OP seems more concerned with her sister than her future spouse.
But, it would make my sister devastated if I had it without her since I know she was looking forward to it.
The sister doesn’t want to celebrate (which, sure) and OP feels like it’s her job to be there. It’s very co-dependent and weird.
She said she just wasn’t ready to celebrate anything at the moment, and as her sister, she feels like it’s my responsibility to comfort her. It’s early in the morning where I live and we’re prepared for the wedding tomorrow but I can’t stomach having my special day without my sister.
OP is packing up and getting ready to go, her fiancé is furious, and I’m left scratching my head.
I told my fiance and after I finish writing this I’m going to start packing. I need to be with my sister right now. I know everything has already been planned out and I’m ruining a lot by doing this, but I have to put family first. My fiance is definitely mad and called me an a-hole because of it.
So I was wondering, AITA for canceling my wedding last minute to be with my grieving sister?
Fortunately, she talked to her husband and they are going through with the wedding without the sister. Phew!
EDIT: After one tough talk with my fiance, we’re not canceling the wedding. We’re going to have it despite the loss of my niece and record it to send to my sister when the time comes. We made up for the most part and decided we aren’t going to have a maid of honor at our wedding. Thank you guys. Would’ve made a stupid decision without 99 people calling me an asshole.
This one ends well, but let’s check out what Reddit wrote in response.
One person said, “You have to do what’s right for you, and if the most important thing is your sister then absolutely pack your bag and go to her. I sympathize with her loss. And afterwards, don’t come back; your fiancee deserves a partner whose priority is him. Sororital miscarriages do not outweigh weddings for most of us, so I side with the groom. This is the kind of thing you make note of in a marital toast while carrying on then sending a wedding video to the person who couldn’t attend. YTA.”
Another was quite a bit harsher, “YTA. You think your sister was looking forward to your wedding more than your fiance? Remember to return the engagement ring.”
A third pointed out that there was so much money being wasted. “you are wasting tons of money, tons of other peoples money and their time for one person. If you’re willing to let everyone else around you crash and burn for your sister then that’s your choice, but that would be a deal breaker for me if I was your fiancé. There would be no rescheduled wedding. do you even care about your wedding? It’s entirely in your right to prioritize your sister, but don’t expect others to stick around, especially not your fiancé. He deserves someone who puts him first on his wedding day YTA.”