Generally Reddit tends to fall very heavily (too heavily, in my opinion) on the side of “YOU DO YOU” — but in this case, I gotta say: I get it.
u/Throwawaybrother3 recently took to the Am I The A-hole sub to wonder if she was terrible “for refusing to let my brother meet my son after what he told me at my husband’s funeral?”
Uh. Right? We’ve already started with a “probably no,” haven’t we? I’ll let her explain:
My late husband passed away from a car accident when I was 4 months pregnant. It’s been difficult without him but my family did so much to support me. I moved in with them month after.
OP explains that she recently lost her husband — and she was 4 months pregnant when he died. It’s been, obviously, hard.
At the funeral, My older brother asked for a minute to talk then asked me if I really wanted to go through with my pregnancy I was shocked when I heard this but even more shocked when he suggested that I “make the right decision, not an emotional decision and reconsider having my son.”
At the funeral, her brother then asked if she wanted to still have this baby. Holy sh-t, AT THE FUNERAL?!
he gave many reasons why including the fact how “single/widowed mom” are considered too much of “baggage” for so many men to date. I lost it on him and kicked him out. that was the last time we saw each other.
OP kicked her brother out for telling her that her son would be “baggage” for other men (GOD EW EW EW). They haven’t spoken and in that time, she had the baby.
My son is now 3 weeks old. Whole family met him and were happy to welcome him. My parents asked if I could let my brother come meet my son even for few hours.
OP’s parents asked if the brother could meet the baby, but OP is not having it. I’m assuming the brother has made no steps to apologize, so I do not blame her.
I refused but they said I was making a mistake robbing my son of a future loving relationship with his uncle. They asked that I don’t let my emotions dictate a decision that might have a lasting impact but I said no.
Family has started to weigh in and people are making OP feel bad for her refusal. So she wants to know: is she being terrible?
My extended family got involved and started pushing especially after my brother started insisting saying my husband was a dear friend of his and what I’m doing right now would make my husband upset if he saw it.
Am i being bitter and selfish?
My verdict? Nope. Until/unless her brother sincerely apologizes, nope to the hills. She’s fine. And Reddit agrees:
Another user wondered, “Has he acknowledged and apologized for his hurtful comments? Does your family know the reason you’re refusing to see him?”
“Not sure why he would even ask, the child is a piece of her husband and a blessing. Yeah she should tell them why she’s not letting him and if they do know remind them that he didn’t want the baby to be born so why should he meet him,” wrote livetorun123.