of the bathroom. Installed a lock to keep her BIL out of the bathroom. I honestly cannot even fathom why some of the people who post on AITA even remotely think they’re wrong, but here we are.
u/Sands2019 recently wondered if she was wrong “for installing a lock on the bathroom door after my BIL kept barging in?” Here’s her story.
My f25 husband’s m30, brother (BIL) m33 moved in with us after his divorce few weeks ago. The problem I have is that he started barging in to the bathroom whenever I’m using it. He never knocks or anything. Another thing is that he only does this when it’s me in the bathroom not his brother.
OP has a house guest who keeps barging in on her — AND ONLY HER — while she’s in the bathroom.
I told my husband about what I’d noticed but he laughed it off and called me paranoid. It was embarrassing because his brother would see me exposed and it made me uncomfortable. My husband said he spoke to him and he apologized but did it again.
Her husband initially laughed it off, but she pressed the problem, so he spoke to his brother. The brother apologized, but kept doing it.
When my husband and I got married, we promised to not have locks or lock each other out of any room. So the bathroom didn’t have a lock.
Apparently OP & her husband promised not to have locks or lock each other out of rooms. So… no bathroom lock. She warned her husband that if his brother walked in on her again, she’d be getting a lock.
I was really considering getting a lock and I let my husband know that if his brother walks in on me in the bathroom one more time then a lock will instantly be installed. He didn’t say anything.
Aaaaaand it happened again. So OP went and got a lock.
Well, Yesterday, BIL walked in on me showering. He knew I would be in the shower but barged in anyone claming he needed to pee. I had enough I went out and got a lock and installed it. My husband got home, saw it and blew up on me saying I voilated an agreement that I was part of” and went against his wishes being uncomfortable with locks in the house. He demanded I remove it and promised and guarenteed that his brother won’t walk in on me again but I refused.
The husband got mad at OP (what.) for installing a lock (what?) in her own home (WHAT THE F). He demanded OP remove it and is freezing her out.
He’s been pissed about it since then and is giving the silence treatement.
INFO I’m not close with my BIL, my husband is. I don’t even talk to him that much and I barely even sat with him at any gathering before he moved in with us.
OP isn’t close to her BIL, not that that would matter since she said she was uncomfortable. He also does this with the bedroom.
UPATDATE: So before I provide an update on this situation. It’s worth noting that my BIL used to do this with the bedroom too but at least I’m not always exposed in the bedroom.
She gave an update saying the lock stays until the brother is gone. Her husband removed the lock himself.
So My husband came home and I told him the lock will not be removed til his brother leaves and his reaction was to try and remove the lock himself and tell me to quit acting childishy. what I did was not shout or scream but pack a bag and go to my mom’s house for the next few days or so til this gets resolved somehow.
So OP packed a bag and headed to her mother’s house. BIL was a dick to her while she was leaving and TBH I don’t know why she’s trying so hard with these two.
On my way out I saw my BIL in the driveway smoking. He knew what the argument between me and my husband was about but instead of stepping up to fix it he offered to take me to my mom’s house saying that my husband could use some space “from me”. This made me cry the whole uber ride to my mom’s house. The reason I feel offended is because BIL tend to be hurtful when he talks about others. I did all I could to win his approval but he thinks less of me and thinks I’m childish just like my husband says.
Reddit pretty much agreed with me. Here’s what they said.
Another person noted that the agreement was … uh, weird. “NTA. Your husband should care more about your comfort than a truly ridiculous agreement. Being married doesn’t mean you are no longer allowed to have privacy. You have a right to that, and I would have thought twice about anyone wanting to take that away. However, assuming you were fully in agreement on that, you agreed to have not have privacy from your husband, not everyone else.”
