girls be like "can you get my lip gloss from my purse? just reach in & head left, take a right at the wallet then turn left til you pass 3 nutrigrain bars & take your next right then head straight & it should be there. if you've hit the 2007 target receipts you've gone too far"
— jake (@squidslippers) August 24, 2018
My personal brand is having several tabs with articles about how to work more efficiently open at all times and never reading them
— andi zeisler (@andizeisler) August 14, 2018
When the hairdresser doesn't do what you wanted, but you smile and say thanks anyway. pic.twitter.com/d5gxmUeUMj
— wtf renaissance (@WtfRenaissance) December 18, 2017
sometimes my low pony looks cute but sometimes i look like a young man in colonial america eager to start his woodworking apprenticeship
— cricket? (@cricket_cg) September 23, 2018
Who needs a boyfriend when u can marry ur career and have it fuck u everyday!!
— Rachel Sennott (@Rachel_Sennott) October 5, 2018