Growing up, we usually believe that our best friends will always be in our lives. From childhood, through our teenage years, and all the way into adulthood, we often times picture them by our sides through it all.
However, not all friendships withstand the test of time. There are many of us who no longer speak to people we once referred to as our “best friends.” The friends who were once our families–they don’t get an invite to our wedding, they never meet our children, and we drift through our separate lives checking on each other’s social media from time to time. But, what happens that’s so horrible between us that makes us completely dead an entire relationship with someone? People on Reddit are sharing their reasons for completely cutting off a best friend and, they have some pretty solid points.
Best friend since kindergarten. First friend I made in my new town.
Freshman year of college I was home for break and he was over my house with another friend. I went upstairs to talk with my parents and left them downstairs in the den. When I came back i couldnt find my phone so I checked upstairs again, then when I gave up and came back downstairs I noticed it poking out from under the couch. Sweet.
They leave pretty soon after, and pretty soon after that I get a text from my college friend (who has the same name as the other friend that was over) saying, “Hey uh, your gf is pretty but I’m not sure why you sent me a bunch of nude pics of her.. I’m gonna go ahead and assume it was by accident and delete them.”
Turns out my ‘friends’ took my phone, found my gfs nudes, sent them to themself (tried. they picked someone else with the same name), deleted the outgoing message, hid my phone, let me look for it, then planted it where it could be found. The only reason I ever found out is because my (very gay) friend from college was open enough to message me about it.
I never talked to those other two again. I have a primal rage when I think about the pathology it takes to do something like that. Theyre not my people.
I was best friends with someone for 12 years and we did everything together. Well, everything that she wanted. It was always about her and her schedule, never compromising for me. I went to every event she had, even her parents anniversary dinner. One year my mother had just passed away and I was home alone. I asked her to come over and she said she was going to a friends house to party because she broke up with her boyfriend. We havent spoken to each other in probably 2 years and I’ve never been happier.
She ghosted me after about 20 years of friendship. I foolishly didn’t see it coming, and tried for a few months to call, text her. No response. I grieved for a long time. Long time.
After several years just realized I always felt awful about myself after leaving his and his family’s presence. Our mutual friends had a saying “it’s not a trip to XXXX’s house until you get criticized. From the clothes you were wearing, to how dirty your car is, just a barrage of shit.
The final straw was when I was dating my now wife, we went to go hang out at his house, and he immediately pounces on my appearance (was wearing a hardhat all day do my hair looked a little funky), then handed me a bag of aluminum cans for me to recycle “and put towards my house fund” (was in deep saving mode). Fortunately my wife was a good sport, but realizing what the hell this guy was trying to accomplish… embarrassing me in front of someone I’m interested in for no reason at all? Walked out after that and never looked back. Cut out completely.
I got ill, regular doctors appointments and didn’t have the energy to do lots of activities. They just stopped talking to me and blanked me when they saw me.
She couldn’t stop smack talking me to everyone. She had incredibly low self-esteem and when I met her, so did I. But each step I took towards being more confident in herself, she saw as a threat.
I started working out and losing weight. She told everyone that I was trying to look better than her; eventually that turned into “she stopped going to the gym and just did coke to stay thin”. Nope, never done hard drugs in my life and I was attending double sessions at the gym.
I started seeing this guy who was really sweet and nice to me; she said I was just seeing him to show her what a jerk her boyfriend was.
I was getting a dog after moving out of the apartment; she said I was doing it to taunt her since her new place didn’t allow dogs and mine did (I specifically looked for dog-friendly places).
I’d hang out with different groups of people because my anti-depressants had kicked in and I wanted to be social again; she said I was going out to make her feel bad for not having friends. Except that I’d invite her to come. But she told me she didn’t like those people (whom she’d only met once and was rude the entire time).
I changed my major to business while she was in writing because I found business to be ridiculously easy; she said I did it because I wanted to make her feel poor after graduation.
My parents rented a place at the beach and I invited her along and told her that they’d cover expenses because my parents remembered being poor college students and wanted us to have good meals and fun; she went but later said I invited her along because I wanted to show off my family’s wealth. We went off-season to a cheap place within driving distance.
It got to the point where I couldn’t say any longer that the people telling me these things were lying. It seemed like almost every day I was telling someone they must have misunderstood her, that she wouldn’t say that. But nope. She reveled in being a frenemy and I thought I had a friend. I distanced myself and she went nuclear. I had friends send me screenshots of the insane messages she was sending them about me, completely unprovoked. We haven’t been on speaking terms in almost a decade.
Best friend of 11-12 years slept with my girlfriend of 6 years. Now they live together with my old dog. Hurts man.
I THOUGHT she was my best friend. But when we first became friends she slowly started to isolate me from others under the guise of everyone else being a nuisance, bitchy, etc. When she got a girlfriend it only got worse Bc she would plan something with me only to cancel last minute but expect me to be there immediately when something went wrong. Or get jealous of either of us started talk to anyone else. It got to the point where I would skip class, assignments and even quizzes to tend to her needs. I should have stopped talking to her earlier but it felt like if I didn’t tend to her needs, I’d see her again at the hospital from a suicide attempt or from self harm. One night after getting high off her ass, she told me how important I was to her, how I’m the most important person in her life and that she couldn’t live without me just so that the next night she could essentially tell me to fuck off and fuck all the shit I did for her. I finally dropped her out of my life when I realized I was also super depressed, dropped 15 lbs in a month, and was struggling way too much with my classes. I had to drop out of school and go home so I could recollect myself.
She changed completely our senior year of high school. We were the exact same person, loved the same things, got along like sisters. Then she started prepping for her freshman year of college at a southern school, and completely overhauled her life to look “perfect” for the sororities. She started partying, only hanging out with the “cool kids”, refusing to let me tag her in photos, and just became really focused on her appearance (not just physical, but how her whole life appeared to an outsider). It’s like she lived her life as an Instagram model. Everything had to look perfectly perfect. We just faded out and stopped talking because I didn’t fit her new life.
I still think about her a lot because we were so close and I’ve never had a friend remotely as close to me as her. It hurts a lot that she just changed and left me behind and didn’t seem to care.
We were completely inseparable through middle and high school and had always planned to stay together through college. She didn’t get into my choice schools, so (being an extremely dumb and anxious teenager) I foolishly agreed to attend a second-rate school with her instead… as not to be alone.
Shortly before the start of our freshman year of college she informed me she was no longer going to school with me and was instead moving to NYC to live with a boy she’d met on the internet. She’d known this for months but neglected to tell me until it was too late for me to do anything about it.