When you’re in a relationship with someone, the worst thing they can possibly do is disobey your trust in them.
Whether they lie to you or cheat on you, there is no bigger let down than losing your trust in someone you love. While it hurts when someone lies to us, it hurts, even more, when they cheat on us with someone else. Knowing that they were able to hook up with someone else and still act as though they love you is something that I can’t ever understand. For me, I wouldn’t be able to stay with someone knowing they took the trust I had in them and threw it off of a cliff. But, for others, saying goodbye to someone they love isn’t that easy. In the media today, celebrity couples have stuck together numerous times despite cheating rumors–like Cardi B and Offset, or Khloé Kardashian and Tristan Thompson. People wonder, time after time, why do people stay with someone who did them dirty? Now, people online are sharing why they decided to stay in their relationships despite being cheated on.
24. Because sometimes it’s just a bump in the road.
when you love someone and have gone through so much together, you can trust that this IS just a bump in the road. when my love cheated on me it was a low point in both of our lives and we were both going through stuff. since then we have gotten better and therefore together, gotten stronger. i love them with all of my heart still and honestly if your soulmate is your best friend then one day you can maybe laugh about it like we do.
23. Because cheating isn’t an automatic dealbreaker.
We had been together for years. I became an alcoholic and a complete fucking mess. I did a lot of things I wasn’t proud of. We were so miserable together. I was self destructive and depended on him for everything. Those couple years were the worst of my life. Then one day I got help and got better. About 2 years later we were amazing. We had worked on all these problems, i was a sober productive, healthy member of our relationship. Out of nowhere he told me that aboyt a week or so before I got help, he cheated on me. He was so unhappy and he was planning on leaving me but didn’t have the guts. So he met some girl, slept w her and then planned on moving out. But a few days later I changed my life and he realized he wanted to be with me and be a part of my change. When he told me I was shocked, we’d been together since teenagers and had only slept w each other. But I was so relieved for him, you could tell this secret was killing him. I was sad and hurt. I cried. But without blinking an eye I told him I forgive you and I love you. I did a lot of horrible things during that period and we were the unhealthiest relationship you’d ever seen. Over those two years we became this amazing couple again. He was upset that I had forgiven him so easily. He said he deserved for me to leave him but that never crossed my mind. He forgave me for all the shit I did and I wanted to forgive him. He told me a little more than a year ago and honestly I never even think about it. I was worried it would linger but the sadness lasted a few weeks and that was it. We did go back to couple counceling and he saw his own therapist to deal w some guilt but that’s it. I never understood people who said cheating was an immediate deal breaker. Relationships are so complicated that it’s really dangerous to make blanket statements. If you use this it’d be cool if I was anonymous. Not everyone knows what happened. It’s his story to tell, not mine.
22. Because monogamy just doesn’t work for us.
We both knew that we loved each other through such a deep connection. We knew that if it ever came to it we would always choose each other over another. I began emotionally cheating on him after a few years of us together and around the same he began to do so too. There was no question of wanting to breakup yet we were both hurt. After a long time of talking we came to the conclusion that maybe non monogamy could work for us. And it really has.
21. Because monogamy is a sham.
I honestly don’t view cheating as a big deal as long as they’re practicing safe sex and not passing anything along. Monogomy came about as a way to use women to aquire land and resources. We’re just not all wired that way. If he treats me well, and I’m happy, then it just doesn’t phase me. I know I’m in the minority though.
20. Because I wanted it to work, but it’s a struggle still.
We were together 6 years, I stayed because I had hope things would change. It was also hard to think of throwing away so many years so many memories. It only got worse. And trust never was the same. It was hard for him because I didn’t trust him and he didn’t understand what I was going thru. It was hard for me because as much as I wanted to trust him again I just couldn’t. We’re still together and it’s a constant battle everyday.
19. Because I believe in giving second chances.
I stayed with him because I believe in second chances. He was struggling to understand who he was, and I decided to give him the opportunity to redeem himself. That is not the easy route. It was so incredibly emotionally draining, but I believed it was worth it because of who we were together. I saw our relationship as worth the fight.
18. Because we had a future.
I stayed with my significant other because I decided I wasn’t going to punish myself over his moment of weakness. I didn’t find out about it until a year after it happened – I knew I wanted to spend my life with him and I wasn’t going to let 5 minutes ruin my future.
17. Because he proved that he was sorry it happened.
I always thought that if I were cheated on, that relationship would be over instantly. My fiancee and I had been together for 2 years when he came to my house at 5 in the morning crying to confess his infidelity. That’s why I forgave him. He was drinking and slipped up with a friend of his. He came to me immediately to admit that he messed up. He worked with this particular person and he actually quit his job. He severed all ties, quit his job, gave me complete access to his phone and computer. We’re now on our way to 4 years together, we got engaged on Christmas. He knew he messed up and didn’t deny that. He admitted his fault and did whatever he could to fix it and although I was (and still am) very hurt, I appreciate his honesty and continue to work on our trust.
16. Because therapy helps.
Last year, I found out my husband of 10 years had been cheating with a 19 year old he met on a porn website. It would have been so much easier to leave, but it’s not what I want for my life. He cut off all ties, stopped watching porn (without me, at least!), and is getting help from a sex therapist and psychiatrist who diagnosed bipolar. We are seeing a GREAT couples therapist, and I have my own individual therapist. I realized the time to love him most was when he deserved it least. Our marriage and communication is better than it has been in years, and while the past hurts like a mofo, I am really looking forward to our future.
15. Because we were newlyweds when I found out.
I stayed with him ONLY because I found out 2 days after we got married. I moved back to Connecticut (my home state) from Nevada where we had a house together and told him to move to me when he cut the crap I gave him a year or I’d serve him papers he didn’t know that though. It took a while (7months) but he hasn’t fucked up since and we have a beautiful 17 month old daughter now who is literally everything and I don’t regret giving him a second chance.
14. Because people can change.
I’ve been cheated on in the past and always immediately broke things off immediately. With my husband, he cheated very early on, but there was something about him I couldn’t let go. It has been I years, and I trust him completely, and we couldn’t be happier. We’re married now, and have a daughter together. I believe people can change their ways, if they really want to.
13. Because he’s better than coffee.
Because when I wake up I roll over and see him, I smile. Because he’s better than any coffee you could give me. Waking up and finding them took, but him describing the scream was worse.
12. Because he is my whole life.
I stayed with him cause I have no actual friends. Just ppl im friendly with like coworkers, etc. I would have been completely lonely without him. His world has fused with mine so much, Im afraid of starting from scratch.
11. Because I was afraid of being alone.
We were best friends. We were together for 15 years, married for 14 years. It wasn’t a quick mistake on his part, he cheated for 2 years and even when I left him he asked her to marry him. Not having me in his life made him come back after 4 months and I took him for fear of being alone. We both went to couples counseling revealing what the issues were and spend each day working on them. The counselor did say it may take years to build up 80% trust or even 90% but 100% may never happen. He accepted that and works on being a better husband, I also accepted my role on why he did it and work on being a better wife. Our issues were not malicious, it was complacency. Relationships are constant but not guaranteed, we now talk to each other, I simply tell him that I don’t believe he is out with his friends and we talk about it. I don’t insist on seeing his stuff but he shows it anyway. I don’t think that is healthy for us, so I told him to stop showing it, just talk and air the issues. It has been working for us, I feel like I am getting my best friend back and this is a daily struggle for me. But for me he is worth it. I’m not going to lie and say I’m strong and emotionally healthy, some days I feel like a duped woman, feel humiliated and weak. We go counseling or we talk about it. For us communication is making us stronger.
This is coming from a woman who would always say once a cheater always a cheater.
10. Because we needed to keep trying.
My husband cheated before we were engaged or married, during the first year of our relationship. He is now my husband, as I said before, so we obviously stayed together. I can’t give any specific reason as to “why,” but that it just felt like we needed to keep trying. It’s taken a lot to get us to a healthy place in our relationship, including counseling and complete transparency in our phones and social media lives, but we’ve gotten there. I can’t say I necessarily completely trust him now, but every day it gets a little better and a little easier. When I am feeling suspicious or like I don’t trust him, he immediately turns over whatever it is that is stressing me out (the phone, his email, etc.) and let’s me look through what I need to. I understand that’s not the healthiest long term habit, and it’s gotten less and less throughout the last couple years, but it helps us. Our therapist said it would take years for me to completely regain trust, and we’re about 4 years from the last incident at this point, and I’m slowly getting there. My husband had to understand that it would take me years, and that sometimes I become suspicious, or unreasonable, or upset and he needs to cope with that, which he has done.
9. Because I wanted to keep my family together.
My boyfriend and I had been on and off for 5 years y’all! We always found our way back to eachother and never cheated or hooked up with anyone else. Long story short we ended up getting pregnant and I think it was in my 2nd trimester I found out he was fooling around with a coworker. I found out on his Snapchat!! Like how dumb are you that you get caught on there? Anyways I have always had a strong stance against cheating, like its over. But when it actually happened it was terrifying! Here we are about to start a family and instead of coming to me as a man and saying hey I don’t want to be with you, he decided the best way was to cheat. Honestly, in the moment I felt scared, unwanted, and very very mad. But I stuck it out with him. And we actually just recently talked about this situation and I let him know that just because I took him back doesn’t make me weak or stupid. And things would be very different if I didn’t love him the way I did and obviously for our family. It hurts a lot, the trust and our relationship is a work in progress but we’re good. And I’m happy with my decision to stay with him.
8. Because he fought to earn my trust back.
My boyfriend cheated the first year we were together. He moved to another city for college and I followed him up a year later. During that year he lived by himself, he slept with a coworker. I actually didn’t find out until 1 year later when one if his friends let it slip. I confronted him that night and I was broken of course because I moved away from my family to be with him and he betrayed me in the worst way. We sat down and talked it all out. He explained himself and I knew it was a mistake and it broke him like it broke me. So I told him we would stay together but I wouldn’t trust him that easily. Now, 8 years later, we’re still together. He fought for my trust and he earned it. We matured from that and grew closer from there. I never throw it in his face when we argue nor do I bring it up anymore to attack him. I don’t regret forgiving him because he made me fall in love with him all over again with a clean slate.
7. Because it was a mistake.
Because it was a mistake, and I truly believe as humans we must be allowed to make a mistake and find out why it happened. My boyfriend cheated on me after a year because we were young high schoolers who were experiencing our youth very differently. Its no excuse for him at all – but he loved me while knowing I didnt fit into his life. It took us years upon years to work through that one incident, and it is by far the hardest thing I have experienced.
However, we persisted. I told him so many times to walk away if he didnt love me and vice versa but love was never the issue. We have always been in love and cared for each other as humans, meaning we accept our flaws and try to help each other work through them. Support and trust is the only thing we know. We have always agreed to walk away if it no longer makes us happy. Well, we’ve been together for 9 years, married for 2, and just recently found out we’re expecting our first child together!
Im not saying it’s going to be that way for everyone, but it worked out for me. And I am happy we had an understanding and unconditional love that in the end made us stronger than ever.
6. Because I learned to forgive him.
I stayed because I love him and learn to forgive him. I would go into it but oh sweet Jesus I don’t have time for it’s a twisted werid Soap opera. I mean that what it was it wasn’t him sleeping with another it was full on General Hospital, The Bold and The Beautiful Love Triangle, I mean my cheating story could have been a freaking a stoyline but I won. I got my guy in the end and we being doing great sense.
5. Because he actually is trying.
I found out my boyfriend cheated on me for about six months before I found out, last year. It really took me to a dark place. I felt the usual. That it was my fault, I wasn’t good enough and all the bad crap. When I finally confronted him about it, he denied it even though I had the actual proof right in front of his face. My boyfriend is in a wheelchair… and at the time, I felt like all he had wanted me to stick around for was to clean after him and be his maid/nurse. I didn’t feel appropriated one bit. I wanted to work it out for about a month, so we could figure things out before our lease was up. He didn’t care. He expected me to still give him a birthday gift when all this was going on, but instead I decided to fly back home for a week to see my parents. Since at the time we weren’t together, I went to see my ex while I was home to see if being intimate with him made me feel anything. It didn’t. Then I got back to my shitty life and my bf wanted to actually try stuff. I was intimate with him the first night I was home and afterwards I realized I was too numb from all the pain he’d caused me I didn’t feel anything for him during that time. I tried to rebound with another guy, but it was still too early I think. A lot of other things happened, but since then he’s shown me he’s changed and he’s actually tried. Only time will tell if it will stay this way.
4. Because of our kids.
I stayed for my daughter, I wanted her to grow up in a 2 parent home. And now 6 years and one more kid later, he’s leaving me anyway.
3. Because he’s rich.
My current boyfriend comes from a family of wealth, I’m talking Regina George wealth—big nice house in a gate-guarded neighborhood, sports cars and designer everything. I enjoy the perks of dating a rich guy, i know how shallow that sounds but it’s true. The gifts, the places I’ve gone and the people I’ve met—it’s hard to give that up. I know he cheats and it hurts but I’ve come accommodated to this lifestyle
2. Because our relationship is special.
My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 6 years (anniversary in 3 days as I’m writing this). About a year a half in, I found out that he had sent some dirty texts to a mutual friend and had felt her up in a park. I found out months later. I’m not impulsive, so I told him I had to think. I was a wreck, I felt broken and I cried more than I ever had. This was back in high school, and while we took that break I made eye contact with him at a pep rally, and I knew I couldn’t let him go. He cried too, and begged me to give him one more chance. And I did, but I made him work for it. I asked him to tell me exactly what they did and he wrote me a 6 page letter. I asked him to tell me why he loved me and he made me an hour and a half long video. Every hoop I made him jump through, he did it with every fiber of his being. He had to prove he wanted to be with me, and he did. It took years to finally be at peace with it, but I think I’m glad it happened. He was a flirt, and I would be insecure all the time that he wanted to be with other girls. Now, I never worry. We’re long distance at the moment, and I never worry about it at all. People tell me he talks about me all the time. So I guess the moral of the story is this: I knew something about our relationship was special, and I chose to try to make it work. And there’s no shame in that. As long as you’re willing to put in the effort, it’s always possible to find a way to put yourselves back together.
1. Because there’s nothing else out there.
We got together when we were 16, two years into the relationship he was talking to other girls online so we broke up for six months. We came back together after six months after he realized there’s nothing good out there. I got back together with him because I knew we were young and each other’s first love and we needed to date other people in order to know this is real. We came back stronger because of it to be honest and now eight years later we have a 6 month old son.