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“What Is Widely Considered A Red Flag But Actually Is Not?”—20 Replies

We all do it: we all subconsciously watch for little warning signs or “red flags” coming from the people around us. But not every warning sign is actually problematic.

u/MuchDuck recently wanted to know:

“What is widely considered a red flag but actually is not?”

And asked the famed “AskReddit” subreddit for answers. Here are some of the best.

1. Eye contact

Not making eye contact doesnt mean someone is lying.

electronic-emu-773

2. Social Media

Not having a social media presence. I’ve had multiple people tell me that my choice not to use social media was a huge red flag, but in reality I got rid of my accounts because they were making me miserable. I got rid of my Facebook/Instagram/twitter accounts two years ago, and have been noticeably happier ever since.

taylor52087

3. Dating

Not dating for several years, I’ve been told by girls that if a guy has been single for over five years that’s a problem.

So you’d prefer he’d be in 25 relationships in the last five years and wonder why all those relationships didn’t work out?

bigblueberryboobies

4. Friends

Not posting pictures with friends on your dating profile. Some people assume you’re anti-social and not pleasant to be around, but I choose not to because I feel weird to post pictures of other people than myself.

green lurch

5. Give me time!

Not responding to message within 5 milliseconds

JiroAizato1

6. Not a weirdo

Not having many friends. im just very introverted not a weirdo.

sticks-in-spokes

7. Parents

Not getting along with parents. Some parents are abusive, neglectful, or toxic to be around; and if an adult chooses not to be around that, good for them.

insert caffeine

8. Not a creep

Being independent, or even a loner. Sometimes we’re just shy and have poor social skills. We’re not “creeps” or “weird”. I just do my own thing and leave people alone for the most part unless they want me in their life.

burgfinsfan

9. Living with family

living with family, in this day and age it’s just not feasible for everyone to have their own place.

kumakami89

10. Being Quiet

Being quiet.

Everyone thinks I’m autistic or a nerd or something. I have no fucking clue. I kind of shut up about it because I don’t care and I’m not there to try and prove to anyone anything or tell them they are wrong. It’s actually a good filter for me actually. But every one that works with me, or has to be around me for a long enough time, over time, realizes I’m a pretty cool dude and like to do fun shit.

mathaiser

11. A bit odd

Being weird in an innocent way. Like society shuns anyone who thinks outside a set of parameters. When really its just a different way to view the world.

angelesofwar01

12. Still living at home

Lots of people are in college, saving up, or just can’t afford it because housing and rent are unreasonably expensive. You could have a decent job and be responsible and great in a lot of ways and living with your parents somehow negates all that?

extrabees

13. Not answering

Not answering the phone or the door just because someone is calling or knocking. Once upon a time if you couldn’t get a hold of your friend or family member right away you assumed they were already busy doing something and you found something else to do. If it was of actual importance you would leave a BRIEF message describing why you called.

Vegetable_Salad86

14. Being a dad

A man playing with a child at a playground

maledependa

15. Gaps

Gaps in employment being seen as a red flag in a resume.

devilsrotary86

16. Never married

Being over 40 and never having been married.

sad playground

17. Phone down

I once met a girl who thought it was a red flag that I always placed my phone screen down on a table. She thought it meant I was hiding something. I had to try and explain that it’s too big to keep in my pocket and it’s screen down to be polite and show her that she has my undivided attention.

Natural-Ad678

18. YIKES

not wanting your partner(s) to have the passwords to all your social media accounts

smallemochick

19. Not at all

Going to therapy

truthprofessional340

20. Cats

Single guy with a cat. I am NOT a monster god dammit.!!!

catfarts99