The number of kids people want to have varies wildly. Some moms are strictly one and done, while others are looking for a bigger family (and then of course there are families like the Duggars…).
But there comes a time for every mom when she knows she’s done having kids. It could be because she’s just so over pregnancy, or that she’s exhausted enough (or even happy enough) with the number she has. Or it could be for so many other reasons.
Here, 19 moms share the moment they knew they were D-O-N-E, period.
1. A positive reaction to a negative test.
“I didn’t realize I was done until we were trying for a second baby, the pregnancy test came back negative, and I was so damn happy. I figured that wasn’t really the appropriate response if I was serious about a second kid.”
2. A lack of joy at motherhood.
“I knew the day I brought my first baby home and realized I didn’t take joy in motherhood like I felt other moms did.”
3. Because having another one could be dangerous.
“I had a traumatic birth experience with our second child and almost had a heart attack afterwards. I knew we were done when my husband looked at me and said, ‘Having another baby is not worth the possibility of losing you.'”
4. A super long time in labor.
“I knew when I was 36 hours into labor with my first…Three years later and I haven’t changed my mind.”
5. Unbearable grossness.
“I always wanted four kids. Then we had twins. I knew I was done forever when they realized they could remove their diapers and ‘paint’ each other with their poop. I dry-heaved through their bath and swore never again.”
6. Happy with just one.
“I always pictured myself having three kids, but then I had my daughter and immediately felt so complete. My husband, daughter and I are so happy that I don’t see us changing a thing.”
7. Pregnancy can be the worst.
“I hated pregnancy immensely. I hated how I looked, felt like shit, and never got that ‘glow’ so many women talk about. So I busted out two kids and that was it.”
8. Too expensive.
“When my bank account told me.”
“I knew I was done when both of my kids finally learned to buckle their own seatbelts, and I realized we could leave the house like normal human beings again.”
10. Holy ouch.
“I knew I was done when my 9-pound third baby came ‘too fast’ for an epidural.”
11. Too much male-ness.
“When I found out we were pregnant with our third boy and panicked about being outnumbered by penis in my own home.”
12. Already overwhelmed enough.
“I realized I was done having kids when I locked myself in the bathroom to cry in peace because I was so overwhelmed with the ones I have.”
13. Again, OUCH.
“When I cried on the toilet from painful hemorrhoids while taking my first post-childbirth poop.”
14. For the sake of the relationship.
“When my marriage almost didn’t make it through our first pregnancy, we decided one was enough.”
15. Traveling can be a nightmare.
“When we were on an airplane with our two kids and I imagined trying to do the trip with a whole other human. It was so overwhelming that I told my husband to get a vasectomy consult as soon as possible.”
16. Always knew there would be just one.
“We were always ‘one and done’ from the beginning of our relationship. We have career goals, we want to travel, we want to give our kid great experiences, and we want to be selfish. We wouldn’t be able to do those things with more than one child. We feel complete with our daughter, and with knowing we can give her everything we want to while still maintaining the lives we’ve become accustomed to.”
17. GIVING BIRTH IS EXCRUCIATING.
“When I was having my vagina and perineum repaired with over 100 stitches after birthing an 11-pound baby WHO GOT STUCK. She’s 10-years-old now, and shit still ain’t right with my delicate area.”
18. Kids fighting.
“I knew I was done when I was at the store and saw a mom with two toddlers in her shopping cart fighting over who was touching who. No thanks!”
19. And finally, just no desire for another baby.
“When my friend brought her newborn to a Christmas party, and neither me nor my hubby had any desire to hold her.”