Kids go through all kinds of phases and one of them may be a “very spoiled” phase. You nip it in the bud as much as you can, teach them better behavior, and hopefully can all laugh about it when they’re in their 30s.
Unfortunately, u/TAMommaof3 seems to be stuck with one of her kids in “pure brat.” She recently tried to teach her spoiled son a bit of a lesson and is worried she went too far. Here’s her story.
Me (F) and my husband (M) had our first child, Matt (18M) when we were just 17 years old. We weren’t in a very good financial situation at first and it only got better when Matt was 9.
Currently, we both work well-paying jobs, buy a spacious home, and have our luxuries. We had two more children (8M and 5F), as we cannot stay at home all the time, we hired a nanny, May (45F) to take care of the little ones.
OP explains that she and her husband have done well and have a nanny for their younger children. Their older child is 18.
Matt had a complicated personality change at age 11, we put him in private school and maybe the contact with other teenagers brought out a selfish and elitist side of him. We tried our best to try to improve it, but with the onset of adolescence and stubbornness, it just seemed to get worse.
That older child, Matt, has a serious selfish, elitist streak that was exacerbated when he went to private school. It got better when he started working part time and Mom&Dad cut back on their financial support.
It got better when my husband and I decided that at age 16, he would work part time so he could start taking financial responsibility and that seemed to give him a reality check as we cut our support on his perks.
OP and her husband planned a vacation for “post pandemic” and offered to take the nanny along with no work and basically a free trip.
This year, after the worst period of the pandemic, my husband and I decided to go on an international trip and instead of giving May a vacation at home, we decided that we would take her (not going to work) and pay for everything, (I don’t live in the US) .
Matt overheard OP planning to buy a first-class seat for the nanny and the son and questioned why they would do that.
Matt, on a random day, overheard me talking to my husband that I was planning to pay for a first class seat for May and her son for her to enjoy like we did. He asked why we should do this, we were already paying for everything, let her go economy class if she can’t afford first class.
OP was horrified. She explained that she’s doing it because the nanny is important to their family.
I was shocked, I said that it was mean to say this and that she was an important person for our family, who gives up having time for her own child to take care of mine. It’s the least I can do.
Matt kept on, so OP told him that she’d buy HIM an economy seat and he can pay for an upgrade. He didn’t seem to register that she was serious.
He still stood his ground, so I said if he sees it that way, I said I’d buy him an economy seat and he’d have to turn around to pay for an upgrade for him to see how privileged he is to have parents who can pay. He nodded, thinking it was a joke even though I said it wasn’t.
As the months went by and I warned him that his ticket was economic and he didn’t believe it.
OP repeatedly warned him but on the day, he was “shocked” to realize that she was serious.
On the day of the trip, like a shocked pikachu, he was startled when he realized I told the truth. He threw a tantrum in the middle of the airport, saying that 10 hours of travel would be very uncomfortable. I just replied: You had 6 months to gather, you’ve been warned.
The flight was ok, but Matt was outraged the entire trip, saying it was almost torture and that we had gone too far.
My husband agrees with me, but my parents said I went too far doing this.
OP’s husband agrees with the punishment but her parents don’t. So:
Ugh, that Matt character sounds just AWFUL.
People on Reddit agreed. One wrote, “NTA. He fucked around and found out. Doesn’t sound like those elitist attitudes really left, just simmered for a while.”
Another gave a really great line: “NTA and I’m sorry you have such an entitled son. Ask him why “almost torture” would be fine for the nanny but not for him.”
Someone else noted, “He is entitled and needs this reality check.”
Hope he got it.