Kate Hackett
Dating is a really hard game and it’s compounded by the fact that people out there aren’t all good people. Dating can be especially hard for women, who sometimes feel like they always have to be on their guard.
That said, all relationships are different, so take this list of responses to u/xDarkPhoenix8161x‘s AskReddit question, “Men of Reddit: What are some immediate red flags in men that women should look out for?” with a grain of salt!
1. No he won’t
Pretty much anything you look at and think, “I can fix him.” Or relatedly, “But he won’t do that with/to me.” No you can’t, and yes he will. — Amiiboid
2. Listen.
If a guy tells you he’s no good, listen. — JackPoe
3. You know, TRUTH.
Holes in the drywall. RUN — BMG1976
4. Pushing boundaries
Pushing small boundaries that aren’t a “big deal.” Then, once called out on it, backpedaling, apologizing for it and then DOING IT AGAIN. MusicalNerDnD
5. Compromise
Inability to compromise. Paapa-Yaw
6. The Victim
Beware when someone complains about everything and is seemingly the victim in every situation. This is the type of person that will very quickly blame you if anything goes wrong, and is likely shitting on you to other people already. Secondly, it means you will be perpetually drained by the negativity over the long haul. Kurupt-FM-1089
7. Bad apologies
Keep an eye out for insincere apologies. “I’m sorry YOU feel that way” or something similar is not an apology. CDubs43
8. Wild overreactions
Suddenly flying off the handle at a minor inconvenience. It’s one thing to stub your toe at the end of a bad day and give the table a whack. It’s another if every moment of stress or misfortune triggers rage. thesaga
9. Selfish
Only talks about themselves. PaleRhinos
10. Respect
If he doesn’t respect your boundaries… If he doesn’t respect consent… If he makes you feel any less of a person than you feel when you’re not around him… If it looks, smells, and waves in the wind like a fucking red flag, treat it as such. It’s not worth the risk. frymtg
11. Guilt
Emotional manipulation, trying to guilt trap you. Quality-vs-Quantity
12. Kicking down
Avoid people who are very polite and charming when they want something from those ‘above’ them, but are arrogant and demanding when they think they can take something from those ‘below’ them. People who ‘smile up’ and ‘kick down’ are the worst. CiderDrinker
13. The Ex
If he talks about his ex too much. As someone who was in love with an ex for way too long, I was not ready for a relationship with anyone else. swervin87
14. Saying No
Sexual pressure after you directly reject an advance. Healthy people with your interests in mind only need to hear no one time and are respectful of boundaries if they bring it up again in the future. freemason777
15. You’re Wrong
Refusing to admit that they could possibly be wrong. I have seen many men get super frustrated and aggressive over the idea that they could be possibly wrong about something. Jomanderisreal
16. You aren’t special
This is one most women learn themselves around high school but still worth mentioning now. If he’s an asshole to everyone but you, that doesn’t mean he thinks you’re special. It means he is an asshole but knows how to not be an asshole in order to get laid. SmartAlec105
17. Arrogance
Going on and on about themselves. Arrogance is such a turn off. 1980pzx
18. Anger
If his first reaction to any type of minor conflict is anger. Here, when I mean conflicts I mean little things – disagreeing with a fact stated, where to have dinner, minor customer service issues. If the first tool they reach for is anger for minor things, that is the tool they will always reach for first. People change, but this is a pretty fundamental personality aspect and unlikely outside of intervention. crazyrich
19. Cheating
If he’s cheating on someone else with you, he will absolutely cheat on you with someone else. anthropocon
20. Badmouthing the Ex
All of their ex partners are “crazy” AiharaSisters
