Women Share The Dumbest Things A Guy Has Said After Sex (21 Stories)

Sex is an extremely intimate thing. And when you’re in an intimate moment, some words may just fall out.

That’s what happened to these women Redditors when user Pity-Pinoy asked:

“Ladies on Reddit, what was the dumbest thing a guy said after sex?”

The answers are quite a collection of sentences. Ranging from funny to actually dumb, they all have one thing in common: they are funny as hell. Here are 20 of the best.

1. Tsunami

I have a tattoo of the world on my back. This guy was fucking me doggy style and pulled out to come on my back. He then exclaimed, “woah, there’s a tsunami in Australia!” I fell on my face laughing so hard.


2. Brothers

OOOH boy… I was hooking up with this guy in his on-campus apartment, which he shared with his brother. Brother wasn’t home, so we were doing the do with the bedroom door open (not smart anyway). Brother comes home in the middle of it, sees straight through the hallway into the room. He fumbles around and then leaves.

I’m embarrassed and kinda want to get outta there but he wants to finish so I think what the hell, his brother left anyway so why not. I wonder if he’s close to cumming so I ask, “are you close?” And he responds with, “Yeah, we’re brothers”


3. “You’re welcome”

He said “Alexa, play you’re welcome” and the speakers from each side of his bed began to serenade us with Dwayne The Rock Johnson’s voice as Maui from Moana. Luckily we both got a pretty good laugh out of it


4. Not that kind of sex ed

I gave a dude a blowjob and apparently he’d never come from one before (who knows If that was true)

Anyway, after he goes, “oh my god. That was amazing. I thought there was something wrong with me. You need to have daughters

Yes, my mother taught me about sex, birth control, and how to suck dick.


5. Say what?

He told me, with all the sincerity in the world as some weird complement: “You would make a great single mother.”


6. Hidden vape

“Mind if I hit this?” And then he pulled out a vape pen he’d hidden under the bed. My bed. Specifically for this reason.


7. “Thanks?:

I had sex with a guy I dated for a few months and afterwards he said “your vagina is smaller than other vaginas I’ve had sex with.”

I just responded with “thanks?” I wasn’t sure if it was a compliment, criticism, or a mere observation.


8. Excuse me?

“I think I miss my ex…”


9. Celebration

He played, “I Just Had Sex” by the Lonely Island while on the phone with his best friend. With me still in the bed …when we JUST lost our virginities to each other.


10. Would not have guess in a million years

I was snuggling with my boyfriend in the afterglow and I looked up at him and asked, “What are you thinking about?” Thinking he would say something sweet. This bxtch deadass looks down at me and says “Mudflaps.”