Oh, we’re going to have a good time with this one. On Reddit, a user wanted to get a lil inside peek at being a marriage counselor, and the counselors came out with some DEETS.
One Reddit user posed the question “Marriage counselors of Reddit: What’s the stupidest reason a couple has made an appointment?” in r/AskReddit. It quickly became one of the most fun Reddit comment sections (with 9.8k comments and counting) in a hot sec. The post received a 93% upvote rate and more than 44k upvotes as of this writing.
And there are just so. many. good. ones.
“My sister in law made an appointment for marriage counseling because her husband greeted their dog before her when coming home from work” – Freyja_the_derpyderp
“When my parents were first dating apparently my dad was always upset that my mom would greet the cat before greeting my dad. One day my mom told my dad “I greet the cat first because he at least acts like he’s happy to see me!”.” – mauanon
“I was a life coach for a bit before I realized it was more administrative work than I wanted to do (I wanted to help people, not fight inner organizational political fights). During my brief time, one of my clients was really struggling with the color of dog that her husband got for her. She wanted a specific breed of dog since she was a kid and her husband did a bunch of research and got her one from a good line of the breed, but its coat was darker than the dog she imagined, and she was *really* struggling with it.
We had a few sessions about expectations clouding your happiness and it turns out the dog was the most explicit example of a much bigger issue she had in her life. But I had to seriously put my WTF on hold when she told me about the shade of her dog being a problem.” – faleboat
“My specialty is children and families, but during the pandemic I was assigned whatever came in because it has been super busy…
One lady called and spoke with me first about how her husband was horrible at communication and never listened to her. She asked for a couples session.
As soon as she ambushed her husband with a “there is a therapist on the line that wants to speak with you” her husband screamed:
“YOU CALLED A THERAPIST BECAUSE I DON’T WANT TO PAINT THE HOUSE PURPLE?”
“She wanted me to convince him to paint the house purple, and like any normal human who sees colors, he refused to listen to her.” – random_girl_me
“She lost a frying pan.” – dangdog_crapper_god
“It’s always the dishes. I don’t see couples anymore because I cannot have one more conversation with adult human beings about the various philosophies of dishwashing.” – monk
“There was a couple who fought because the husband stopped liking cheese for some reason. No lactose intolerance, he just stopped liking cheese” – taverner_raven
“Couldn’t decide on which chicken to buy for their chicken farm” – warpus
“I’m a counselor with teenagers and kids. A school staff member dragged these two teens into my office one day, a boy and a girl. Both were clearly upset but definitely didn’t want to talk about it with me. You could have cut the tension with a knife as they sat frozen in their chairs staring at the floor. I saw them and thought “oh fuck, she’s pregnant.” I’m trying not to panic at how to handle the situation as I finally get them talking and it turns out…. they were just fighting because he sent a text to some girl. A text. At least she wasn’t pregnant.” – maz_lotus
“My anger management group facilitator told us a funny story about a couple that came in for counseling. The husband wanted to write a book. The wife said she would work and do everything around the house for a year while he worked on his book. So he quit work and wrote his book while she did everything. The book got published and was a hit. The publisher asked him to do a book signing tour. The wife was furious. She had supported him writing the book and she was done. They came to the appointment and explained the situation. The therapist asked the wife, “So what would it take for you to be ok with the book tour?” She said, “A trip to Hawaii with my sister.” The husband was like, “Really? Done.” The appointment was over in five minutes.” – ov3rcl0ck
“I don’t specifically do marriage counseling but I did do a couple’s session that seemed relevant for Reddit. The reason wasn’t stupid and obviously impacted the relationship greatly, but it was silly how long it took to finally understand what was going on. At first they kept talking about the husband having a job and then “another online job” which kept him from spending quality time with his wife. It was difficult to understand because she didn’t know how to describe it and he was being extremely vague. It slowly became clear to me that he was spending 3-4 hours a weekday and most of his weekends posting memes. This was time that he needed uninterrupted on top of his “regular job” and it was driving her crazy. So, that was interesting.” – bestmodepwn
“He insists Jar jar is a Sith Lord and she ‘just doesn’t care’.” – AngryZen_Ingress
“They couldn’t agree on the Game of Thrones series” – epitometutor
“I think my favorite was a woman who married a man whose dad and brothers worked in a successful family business. Husband didn’t work in the family business and didn’t want to. Wife married him anyway expecting him to be her meal ticket. Eleven years later he still hasn’t gone into the family business and she feels BETRAYED” – lonewanderer015
“They were arguing over who got the TV remote” – randomoctopus71
Read the rest of the comments here.