I imagine being pregnant … sucks. You can’t consume a whole bunch of things, your feet swell, an alien life is growing inside of you… I get it when women want their partners to be supportive and join them in abstaining from alcohol. What I don’t entirely understand is the demand to do so.
That is what u/Randomname69696969 was facing when he wanted to take a trip abroad …but his wife wouldn’t permit any alcohol.
The pair of them were previously weed smokers, but rarely drank. Apparently the wife would even go to work high.
My wife and I both normally would smoke weed pretty often. My wife would smoke more than me mainly due to the fact I work more hours and she works a grocery store where she can happily go to work high whereas I work in a job that I’d struggle to perform high. We both would rarely drink maybe once or twice a month.
When she got pregnant, OP knew the no-weed rule would be important, so he gave it up for her. She also expected OP to stop drinking. Completely.
Since my wife got pregnant I knew the weed thing would be big for her so I was more than happy to give up smoking. She since then also expected me to give up drinking, literally all drinking I’m not even allowed to have 1 beer if we go for a meal.
OP has saved a decent amount of money and wants to go abroad for a vacation… but he also wants to be able to drink while they’re on their trip. His wife, however, does not agree.
My job in my opinion is more stressful but also pays more so I pay the majority of our bills. After taking care of 90% of our bills I’ve managed to save up and would like to take us on a holiday abroad to recharge after working my ass off without a holiday for the last few years. But not being able to enjoy a few drinks whilst on holiday I feel kills the relaxation and when it takes over a year to save up for this type of trip I’d like to be able to enjoy it to the fullest.
My wife has decided she will not budge and if she cant drink neither can I, so I’ve decided that I won’t be paying for the trip and we can just do something cheaper / closer to home.
So OP decided they can shelve the trip if they can’t drink… so is he wrong?
Tldr: My wife has decided that since she can’t drink because she is pregnant that I can’t either. I planned to take my annual leave from work to take us (and pay for) a trip abroad. I asked my wife would the drinking rule still be in effect and she said of course. I’ve now decided I won’t be paying for us to take this trip. AITA?
I don’t know why in the world he didn’t just compromise with her and say — look, let’s take the nice big trip another time, when we can drink, but it doesn’t look like he did.
Reddit came down like a bag of hammers on his side.
“I’ll be unpopular, but NTA. I’m a recovering alcoholic, and nothing gets under my skin much more than people who are alcohol-free DEMANDING that other people can’t drink either. There is no reason why normal people with a healthy relationship to alcohol can’t enjoy the occasional adult beverage at the proper place and time. It’s the personal responsibility of the non-drinker to manage their response. I don’t know you or your wife’s relationship with alcohol…but the occasional beer or glass of wine with dinner is entirely reasonable for a normal person. Your wife sounds like she is unwilling to deal…and that’s not on you. Telling you that you have to stay stone-cold sober on vacation because SHE can’t drink is like telling someone they can’t have dessert because THEY are on a diet. It’s balderdash,” one user wrote.
Another noted that nobody was an asshole, “NAH… i just don’t get why you would throw away the trip abroad just because you can’t drink. it really feels like a huge overreaction. you’re probably not going to get a chance to take a trip like this again for quite some time, so why not just enjoy it and learn to relax without substances?”