There are several instances of actual heaven on Earth and the good news is all you have to do enjoy all of them is rob a few banks and a liquor store. You could also marry Carrot Top, but you only need to do that if you don’t own a gun.
A master of the internet farts and sciences. Often accused of being into movies, television, sports, gaming and long walks to the kitchen. Spent the last decade writing about the absurdity that is the internet with a primary focus on comedy, sports, entertainment and exposing cats for being evil monsters. Somehow achieved a BA in Advertising from the Michigan State University and MA in Copywriting from The Portfolio Center. Hobbies include keeping “that’s what she said” jokes fashionable, imitating noises like a parakeet and preventing political arguments. List writer for Ranker and former Editor-in-Chief of World Wide Interweb.