Kate Hackett
“Kate, surely you are massaging the title to make it sound like this guy is a jackass right out of the gate,” you might be saying.
No, intrepid reader, I am not, for u/bartooper10 literally wrote this himself:
“AITA for “kicking” a girl out of our friend group?”
So like, where do we even go from here? I’ll let him tell it, but my mind is made up.
Alright Reddit. I’ve been getting so much shit for this that I decided to get a judgement on here. I feel like I’ve seen a post similar to this before but the judgement was split so I guess we’ll see.
So I (26M) have a long standing friend group. Most of us having been friends since HS. This girl named Zoe (25F) has been part of the group since college. We’ve hung out plenty of times. But I would describe our relationship as causal friends.
OP explains that he has received a ton of shit for this, so like. I guess he thinks strangers will believe something else? IDK. He has some pals, like ya do, and one of the pals is more of a casual friend. No big.
We follow each other on social media and talk in the larger group but never 1 on 1 hanging out. She is friends mostly with the GFs. But I had a low key crush on her.
Ahhhh there it is. He has a low key crush on this poor woman.
Some of the women in the group know but have kept it to themselves for my sake. But last month I got kinda drunk. And messaged her late night about possibly hanging out. She messaged me back in the morning and said she would like to hangout more but just as friends. I told her I understood. But knew what that meant so I never reached back out.
And so he messages her: fine. Drunkenly: dude. But she turns him down and he says okay: also fine. NBD. All good so far…
So my parents own a bar. Typically I will bartend there on the weekends before I go out. My friend group are regulars at the bar. I will send out text about what specials we have that night and invite people to come. So I send out a big invite and include Zoe on it.
OP’s parents own a bar and he invites his friends, including Zoe, to have some drinks, etc.
She shows up and immediately starts talking to me. I was working so I kinda just moved along. I charged her full price the whole night and she started complaining to the other girls about it which ticked me off.
Zoe comes, drinks, and OP charges her full price the entire night, despite having never before charged her full price.
Yes sometimes I will give free stuff out to my friends. But it isn’t all the time. Yes I used to hook up Zoe a lot.
BUT THAT. WAS BEFORE. SHE SAID. WE WERE FRIENDS. I mean, hold up OP: you hook your friends up, you literally just said that. She said you’re friends, and you stop hooking her up?
But that was before she said we were friends.
What a Chad.
Then the second thing that happened was I invited a girl to come to the bar to pregame with us before we went out. Zoe sees me talking to this girl. Decided to introduce herself completely out of the blue.
OP invited a girl to the bar as well, again, that’s fine. And Zoe starts talking to the girl, also FINE. The girl didn’t love that and OP had to explain the group dynamic.
Then those two start talking at the bar. And it “slips out” that me and zoe used to be good friends till I asked her out. The girl I invited wasn’t happy and I had to spend the next hour explaining that away.
Irked, he told Zoe not to attend the next group hang at the bar; OP doesn’t want to “deal with her”.
So the next time the group went out. I sent Zoe a text and told her to please not show up. She is more than welcome to meet us out later. But I didn’t want to deal with her at my bar. Her friends showed up to the bar this weekend and asked me to talk.
The friends told OP that this wasn’t fair; everyone in the group hangs there, so she’s feeling “banned” from the group.
They said it was unfair to not invite Zoe. Because now she feels isolated. Our whole friend group hangs out here. So banning her is essentially banning her from the group. I said everyone is free to pick a different bar to hangout at. And then they can invite whoever they want.
OP said they can invite her to a different bar, but Zoe is “weird and causing issues”. Lord.
But Zoe is weird and is causing issues. So it is her own fault. I’ve still being called an AH. But my guys are on my side. AITA?
Total dick, right?
