There is something particularly guilty-pleasure-inducing about reading the insane demands of groom- and bridezillas for their wedding day. Whether it is the feeling of inherent schadenfreude that makes us feel superior, or the knowledge that we, personally, may be crazy but not that crazy, is almost irrelevant.
All that matters is entertainment value.
And the entertainment value of the following insane list of wedding “rules” sent out by the wedding coordinator presumably hired by two crazy people is…high.
The following strict “rules and regulations” for attending this couple’s wedding were uploaded to subreddit /r/ChoosingBeggars, and, besides being riddled with the most random of spelling/grammar mistakes, it is so passive-aggressive and totally batshit extra that I’m in love with it.
(Exhibit A: One stipulation states that guests bearing gifts worth less than $75 won’t be “admited in” [sic].) (!!!)
The Internet greatly enjoyed OP’s choice of spelling. For example, “do a finally head count” and “seramony” and the “no acceptance” when it comes to everyone toasting with Rémy. (Rémy Martin, as in the cognac—as in, hard liquor—and not champagne? people wondered.) Furthermore, what sort of wedding planner doesn’t know how to spell “ceremony?”
Not to mention the rules themselves! Though some are fair game—for instance, arriving a little early, not wearing white, errr, checking in on Facebook, I guess—the rest are ABSOLUTELY INSANE.
“I’d love for all guests to all show up naked with ponytails. That would be beautiful,” wrote one commenter in response to rule number 3.
“And do you, Mr. Sanders, take her as your lawful wife?
turns head to soon-to-be wife Y-yes
Wedding coördinator: NOBODY IS ALLOWED TO TALK TO THE WIFE AM I CLEAR!” joked another, imaging a scenario in response to rule 8.
“What an excellent list of reasons to not go,” commented a third.
To be perfectly honest, had I received an invitation so deranged, not showing up would be utterly unacceptable. It would be worth the $75 just to see the irreparable damage of a guest showing up with fake lashes and her hair down.