Dakota Johnson And Chris Martin Just Got THE Most Basic B*tch Matching Tattoos Possible

Actress Dakota Johnson and Goop’s ex-husband Chris Martin have only been dating for about a year, yet have already found it necessary to profess their love in the most permanent of ways—by getting matching tattoos.

But that isn’t even the stupidest part of this situation! (Getting a matching tattoo with your boyfriend one year into the relationship is straight stupid, and kindly do not @ me.) Because undoubtedly, the stupidest factor here is that the tattoos are…infinity signs.

Now, Chris Martin I get. You can’t be a member of Coldplay for over two decades and not be a basic b-tch, just like you can’t in earnest have Coldplay queued up on an oft-listened Spotify playlist and not be a basic b-tch. I’m not saying it’s a bad thing! I’m just stating facts.

But I truly didn’t expect this of Dakota Johnson. I don’t know why I presumed she was above an infinity sign tattoo. Maybe I was bamboozled by her slightly crinkled flower tattoo, courtesy of artist to the stars Dr. Woo, which Johnson claims to have gotten because “It’s a lil f*cked up, but it’s still a flower, like me ✨.” (Some may say this was evidence enough of the actress’ basic b-tch-ness—but I was willing to allow a little poor-little-rich-girl self-pitying.)

Or maybe I assumed—surely—the daughter of legends and award-winner actors Melanie Griffith and Don Johnson would know better? I don’t know what I was thinking. Anyway, I feel like I’ve been ragging on these two lovebirds kind of hard, and that seems unfair. Is this actually cute, and I’m just jaded? (No.)



Some zoomies:

And here is Martin, with the infinity on his forearm:


A zoomie:


Here’s to hoping these two lovebirds truly do stay together…for infinity.