Al Roker shocked the world this week with his pants-pooping confession at the White House and that got us thinking… Al can’t be the only celebrity with gastrointestinal problems, right? While poor diet and stress tend to be the leading cause of farts, certain people are simply born with a hereditary predisposition to release the butt hounds. For every overweight person with bad gas, there’s probably a supermodel whose farts probably smell ten times worse because she’s been holding them in her whole life. While we rarely get to hear celebrities fart, we know many of them have gas problems just like the rest us. Well, except for Jessica Alba… we’ve been told her farts smell like an English garden.
James Gandolfini – Combine Tony Soprano’s loud breating and high carbohydrate intake, and you’ve got yourself some serious fatrogen dioxide.
Guy Fieri – I mean come on, there’s no way Guy doesn’t release the butt Kraken on a regular basis considering the amount of greasy food he eats and his general disposition.
Khloe Kardashian – For a family known for their butts, Khloe has to be the gasiest, and we’re guessing they’re usually of the nose-hair trimmer variety.
Meatloaf – We’re betting the legendary Marvin Lee Aday intentionally name himself after another word for “poop” because of his gas problems. Meatloaf will do anything for love, but he won’t hold back his farts and we don’t blame him. That’s bad for your health.
Larry King – Rumor has it that Larry King used to keep a fan under his desk at all time because of his tremendous gas problem and constant guest complaints. The bottom line is when you get to be as old as Larry you have horrific gas no matter what you do.
Oprah – Nutritionists say that constant fluctuations in weight can lead to severe bowel problems later in life. Mix that with Oprah’s self-proclaimed love for KFC and you’ve probably got yourself some billion dollar farts.
Larry David – All that constant pent up anger and a diet that consists mainly of soy and veggies probably leads to Larry curbing a lot of pairs of underwear. Pretty… pretty… pretty gassy.
John Madden – If you spend the last 25 years traveling around the country in a bus eating a lot of Outback Steakhouse, you’re going to have some rancid gas. Madden is the type of man that probably has about 20-25 “leaker” farts per day without even noticing. We just hope Madden says “boom” after he lets them fly.
Paul Dean – Come on, you really think it’s just chance that one of Paula’s top selling products is called “Paula Dean’s Butt Massage?” She also looks like evil incarnate, and in my experience, evil people have evil-smelling farts.
Jessica Simpson – Poor Eric Johnson. Once married to one of the sexiest celebrities on the planet, he now has to share a home with a woman who basically eats pot roast and farts on the couch all day long.
Louie Anderson – We love Louie, but we think it’s no accident that he wrote a book called “Goodbye Jumbo” and starred in the TV show Grace Under Fire, which sounds like the description of a typical toilet nightmare. The former Family Feud host is also famous for his skit “Chinese Buffet.” All signs point to fart.
Kirstie Alley – Contrary to popular belief, women release some of the nastiest farts this planet has ever seen. You know Kirstie doesn’t eat very well and we believe that women with bitchy attitudes have bad gas because of all that anger and ice cream.
Keith Richards – The man looks like death and sounds like death, so his farts must smell like death. I’d imagine that his farts probably smell like a mix of graveyard dirt and burnt dog hair.
The Hamburglar – The Hamburglar has basically lived the movie Super Size Me his entire life. We all saw what happened to Morgan Spurlock’s body when he ate nothing but McDonald’s for 30 days so you can only imagine how bad the Hamburglar’s farts must stink.
