One upon a time, in far away American rural lands, men used to wear a magical type of pants known as “Jorts.” They were a mythical combination of part jeans, part shorts and many of them were homemade with the help of super sharp scissors. Jorts have a long history of mysticism. Nobody knows for certain if the hardcore jorters lost a horrible bet or if they looked in the mirror that morning and simply thought they were worth it. This could just as easily be a photoset of men with milky-white thighs, so the lost bet theory is more likely. It is not known if Jorts will ever make a comeback anywhere in the world outside of Tennessee and Alabama but one thing is for sure… no man ever rocked a pair of Jorts better than The Incredible Hulk.
Still haven’t gotten your fill of crotch-strangling denim glory? Well, you’re going to have to find somewhere else to slake your levi lust, because this is about as much as we can stomach. Our thoughts and prayers go out to all those innocent souls who were forced against their will to witness these men in their Gap snake traps. We hope this photoset will deter you from further research into that “super cute” pair of white washed jorts you were just dying to rock for your bat mitzfah. They’re not coming back. And you only have three things to blame: Justin Timberlake, Daisy Duke, and yours truly. We recommend three days bed rest and a double eyepatch while you recover. Sure, we could have just included a disclaimer at the beginning of the article to warn you of the visual dangers ahead, but we figured since you searched for “jorts” on google, this article is exactly what you deserve. You reap what you sow, you denim demons, you…